Sunday, April 30, 2017

Mean Comeback

Chase Michaels vs Tyson the Hammer, Match 529 (UCW)

The ex-champ wants his belt back, and he's willing to climb his way to a title match rung by rung. Chase knows the only way to catch UCW's attention and get what he wants is with a high body count. In this match, he intends to add the Hammer's body to his stack. Because Tyson took a brief leave from UCW, Chase is betting that he's lost some steam in the interim. Tyson is in exquisite shape; still, Chase may have a point: it takes a lot more than CrossFit to thrive at this company.

The grapplers, both biters, both ball-bashers, engage in a dizzying game of give and take, one man gradually gaining momentum on the other as the 29-minute match nears its end. Chase pits his whirlwind speed against Tyson's sculpted steel muscle. In the end, everything depends on which of these roughnecks can summon up the most spite. Mean goes a long way at UCW, and past champs, with the notable exception of Axel, have succeeded on two parts muscle, three parts mat savvy, and five parts rascally low blows.

Match 529 throbs with ambition and willingness to cross lines to seize the prize.

Saturday, April 29, 2017


Vinny vs Logan Vaughn, Mat Rats 79 (Thunder's Arena)

Intimidation plays a role in my erotic response to wrestling, the verbal kind to some extent (when Eli Black used to threaten me with bodily harm, I got wood, I'll admit it), but live encounters with hard-muscled men who are taller and heavier than I am, even (often especially) when not a word is spoken, shake me with a mix of fear of injury and desire for the physical contact such a beating would entail. It's a response I've had since childhood. The precise sensation most closely resembles my fear of heights, which is dominated by the irrational urge to leap, as any acrophobe can tell you.

Vinny towers over Logan, who is in no sense petite. Vinny's sheer mass predicts his opponent's fate (correctly, it so happens: Logan hasn't a prayer). The strongman has, let's say, unfriendly intentions, too, which his surly attitude makes abundantly clear. Take, for instance, the way he greets Logan: "What's up there, little bitch? What you doing?" When Logan dares to touch the man's shoulders uninvited, Vinny snaps at him, strikes another pose, and then contemptuously grants permission. Popping biceps big as a pitbull's head, he speaks like he's addressing an unruly child, "See that shit? He's angry. Got that?" He berates Logan for being out of shape. Then he asks whether Logan thinks he can beat him in a fight. Sensibly, Logan says no, he doesn't. Apparently, Logan has no illusions about the outcome of this match, and, while not noticeably intimidated, he, like me, almost welcomes it.

Friday, April 28, 2017

Get Real

Krush vs Donald Jay, Rip &Rumble (Krushco)

Krush is on my personal top five list of favorite underground wrestlers. Among his closest competition in the field--Eli, Jake, Duke, Marco, Derrick, Jonny, and Guido--few come close to Krush's dependability in demolishing opponents. His latest match, his second against Donald Jay, is a rip-and-strip battle that runs for six falls (two of them knockouts), with both fighters neck and neck for the first three-quarters.

This brawl seized me in the first five seconds and wouldn't let go till it was over, when the loser is sprawled out on the mat, every ounce of fight drained out of him. The screen shots above portray a more one-sided contest than the match actually is. I picked the shots for drama--to capture Krush's brute force and Donald's knack for selling the hell out of every second of the 35-minute video. A Krushco fight is 80 percent legit submission wrestling and 20 percent pro-style theater of cruelty. This one offers the best of both worlds, probably one of the best you can find in the Krushco catalog.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Adrenaline Pays His Dues

Darin Corbin vs "The Adrenaline" Adrian Matthews, Episode 122 (West Coast Wrestling Connection)

In the last few days I've been giving Adrian Matthews a lot of thought. A lot. You already know him perhaps from the close attention he got on Beefcakes of Wrestling early this year. I've been enjoying watching this guy suffer at the hands of some of WCWC's best heels. My favorite drubbings among the matches I've seen are his West Coast debut last July against hunky JJ Garrett (see especially minute 16:06 for a stimulating simulated skull fuck against the ropes), his surly roughing up at the hands of The Grappler in December, and, my top pick, the crazy prolonged beating ginger firebrand Darin Corbin supplies in this late September 2016 battle, a rematch following a dramatic collision of these two the week before (also worth watching).

Adrian wins some and loses some, but he always gets his bump-worthy ass kicked at some point in each match, and each one is beautiful in its own way. The young man's "sell" technique is flawless. Sometimes the destruction is total (as against The Grappler), but sometimes the match fits my highly fetishized dream scenario--of the epically handsome hero, having taken enough abuse for one night, at last turning tables and kicking the living shit out of his tormentor--often, even better, with a single, sudden, out-of-nowhere strike that reverses the momentum and ends the match within three seconds.

Darin is Adrian's perfect foil. His protruding gut just begs for the punch it eventually draws. His devious attacks (especially the way he uses the ropes and ring apron) are inspired, and he moves from one to the other almost with no break in between. His unwarranted vanity, his braggadocio, his girlish shrieks when hurt, and his overweening sadism practically beg pretty please for comeuppance, which by the match's midpoint a severely trampled Adrian is eager to hand-deliver. As the GIFs below demonstrate, Darin gets some satisfying payback from Adrian, especially in the rushed final minute. (Corbin vs Matthews begins at the 14:10 mark here on YouTube.)

Wednesday, April 26, 2017


Scrappy vs Blayne, No Holds Barred 82 (Thunder's Arena)

Scrappy and Blayne are two of the Arena's hottest and most charismatic hires this past year (and it's been one fantastic year). No Holds Barred 82 brims with so much crazy testosterone, so much high-contact roughhouse, and such a wild storyline that it can't be compared to anything else I've seen in internet wrestling. It's a stark turn from the talkier frat-boy videos Thunder's is known for, lurching into darker emotional territory.

Without prologue, the abrupt opener gives us Scrappy dragging Blayne by the hair out of the kitchen and to the mat, accusing him of flagrant disrespect (in Mat Rats 80). Blayne can't process what's happening to him, under the impression that he and Scrappy were friends. Scrappy lays him flat on the mat and takes twisted delight in his shrieks as he (Scrappy) rolls a tire over the guy's wrist, evidently intending to break it. The scene closes as abruptly as it began, with Blayne writhing on his back.

Jump cut to Blayne, minutes (?) later, talking to himself in the bathroom mirror. He wants revenge. He straps on a wrist brace, while murmuring, "I'm gonna fuck you up, Scrappy." He then approaches a curiously unsuspecting Scrappy on the sofa and bashes the brace's metal rod into his ex-buddy's face. They grapple on the overstuffed furniture and on the carpet, but Blayne can't control the volatile Scrappy, who's soon on top again. "Let's have some fun," coos Scrappy, easily falling back into the role of dungeon master. But don't count Blayne out yet!

The remainder (11 minutes) of this 18-minute match is set back in the garage, which the Arena often utilizes as a fight space. The action past the midpoint is give and take and hot as fuck: lots of muscle on display, lots of muscle pounding muscle. By all appearances, evenly matched in size, Blayne and Scrappy have distinctly different personalities and body types. Hairy-chested Blayne, callow in his previous matches, comes into his own in NHB82, with fight and initiative. As I said above, silky smooth Scrappy exhibits a delight in cruelty not so apparent in previous contests, and the escalating tensions between these two are electric.

High-grade boner material from beginning to end, the episodic and sometimes incoherent plot is just an excuse for displaying what these boys are capable of. It's a stretch for both that may stun some fans, but it is exactly what I've been waiting for. I want a rematch as soon as possible ... in the ring, at the pool, or on the grass, or all the above. This is, I hope, the start of a beautiful feud.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017


Kenta Kobashi vs KENTA, Navigate for Evolution, 5 March 2006 (Pro Wrestling NOAH)

The link above takes you to a highlights reel from which I took the GIFs. The match is incredible--a trainer (Kobashi) vs trainee (KENTA) faceoff that serves up one stunner after another. Kobashi retired from ring life in 2013 at age 46, transitioning to the production end of the business. I haven't followed KENTA's progress in WWE (they gave him a cool new name, at least), my heart just not drawn to WWE, despite assurances from friends and some observed evidence that WWE NXT is not the load of crap I think of when I think WWE. I can't imagine KENTA gets this kind of contest anymore; I just hope the guy gets shitloads of McMahon money to bank in Japan. In 2006 in Budokan Hall, he was at his hottest, and he and his mentor were gods for the night, holding NOTHING back as they punch, kick, and butt each other half to death.

Monday, April 24, 2017

MuscleBoy Love

Jake Zane vs Logan Cross, Catalog 1 - Muscle Boy Throwdown (MuscleBoy Wrestling)

I have never minded a kiss, long, deep, and passionate, at the end of a friendly tussle, a kiss that was clearly meant as a transition to something more than a kiss. But full-fledged Jane Wyman-style romance is not something I usually enjoy, not as a spectator anyway, and speaking for only myself, plain wrestling is enough of a turn-on without extras. That said, Zane vs Cross is a great good time, and the merger of Eros and Ares is handled excellently in this MuscleBoy match from Catalog 1 (a little too tasteful, for my tastes, but still superb).

The 33-minute video emphasizes the exhilaration and mysteries of romantic love more than the sweaty grunts and groans of impassioned roughhouse, yet this match is as good as BG East's UK mattress matches (my yardstick for these things), and far better than most other attempts of this sort. Zane vs Cross interests me as both a wrestling fantasist and a dabbler in gay porn. Though the rape fantasies of Naked Kombat, repetitious as they are, are more my speed (not politically correct, I admit, maybe not even healthy), there's a sweetness to this romp that charms me.

Jake and Logan are attractive, young, and amorous. If they are not actually a couple, they do pass as one. Both know how to wrestle, and both have bedroom eyes and full sensual lips. They know how to segue between teasing and squeezing, flirting and hurting, locking lips and locking limbs. I'm more familiar with Jake, by another name, but Logan is the one who sells me on this match. I like his open, boyish face. The give and take is smooth and graceful, intensifying as the gear peels off. There's nothing cheesy about it. As for the rest ... Yes, there's a cum shot. No, there's no penetration except for some heart-piercing gazes.


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