Cruel and Unusual

Rolf Fulton vs Toney Rico, Knock Outs 3 (BGEast)

Rolf Fulton's chesty voice and strapping physique would grab my attention even if he were the type to play it safe and by the rules. Taking risks is part of the Rolf Fulton package. He seems to love a good fight with no particular expectations for the outcome. The new guy at BG East, Toney Rico, doesn't know what to make of Rolf. Being more strongly built (they are the same height, but Rico has 50 pounds on Fulton), he has a perfectly reasonable expectation of winning. But Fulton does not operate according to the usual laws of physics. His is a force that seemingly exceeds the dimensions and heft of his body and the conventions of ring combat.

An opening test of strength confirms Rico's muscular superiority. Rolf will have to use his wits to beat the rookie, and fans of Fulton's previous work are already familiar with his ingenuity and cunning. Toney starts off strong, winning the first fall (the winner will be the wrestler to knock his opponent out three times). But in less than a minute Toney gets lost in the funhouse of Rolf's humiliating reversals and shameless low blows, and Fulton evens the score 1 - 1. This sudden defeat seems to throw Rico off track and enrage him at the same time - it simply does not match his expectations of reality.

It's Anything Can Happen Day at BG East for the next 30 minutes, but the smart money is on wily Rolf. Strangulation is the sexiest way to beat a man (I have fond memories of childhood boners whenever Tarzan crept up on somebody and choked him out cold) and that's the name of the game in Knock Outs 3 - and leave it to Rolf Fulton to find the most curious and inventive ways to knock Toney Rico out, if Rico doesn't knock him out first.


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