Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Congratulations, BG East Winners!

The votes are in, and the winners have now been announced. I want to congratulate all who won for being the very best in their categories and, most of all, for nurturing your fans' kinky fantasies in 2016. The big winners this year with wins in multiple categories are Ty Alexander and Christian Taylor, with three wins each, Chase Addams, Beauxregard, Charlie Evans, Jonny Firestorm, Calvin Haynes, Kid Karisma, and Chace LaChance with two. (See also Bard for more details and photos!)

The good news for fans is that until noon on January 26th BG East is offering a 25% discount on DVDs and streaming videos of the winning matches, including the 2016 matches of the "best" wrestlers, and VOD rentals of these matches are 20% off on The Arena, BGE's members-only site.

1. Top Babyface: Biff Farrell

2. Best Abs: Chace LaChance

3. Best Body: Kid Karisma

4. Best Bulge: Kirk Donahue

5. Top Heel: Jonny Firestorm

6. Best Butt: Kid Karisma

7. Jobber of the Year: Ty Alexander

8. Debut of the Year: Beauxregard

9. Best Submission: Firestorm vs Haynes

10. Sexiest Match: Keller vs Beauxregard

11. Best Ring Match: Alexander and Addams vs Taylor and Evans

12. Best Squash: LaCash vs Sorell

13. Best Mat Battle: Andrews vs Marcos

14. Hottest Liplock: Taylor vs Haynes

15. Best 2016 Wrestler Spotlight: Wrestler Spotlight: Chace LaChance

16. Best 2016 Overall Match: Alexander and Addams vs Taylor and Evans

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

This Little Bitch Has No Idea What He's In For Today

WARNING: Sex and violence follow. No kids or prudes allowed. This is the devil's work ... some of his best to date.

Jonah Marx vs Tyler Rush, 13 January 2017 (Naked Kombat)

Later this year I turn 64. I'm well educated, liberal, peace-loving, and in possession of a modicum of good taste. There are days--and they are increasing in number--when I feel that I'm past my erotic attachment to the sport of wrestling, a passion that was at its fullest in my late teens and early twenties. It has been years since I actively participated in a wrestling contest and I am less and less in touch with the whole wrestling scene. And at a certain age, slobbering over minimally dressed youth in combat seems, well, unbecoming and a little creepy. Many have been the days when I've tried to bid a ceremonious farewell to this blog and wrestling. Then something like this happens.

Pouty fratboy Tyler Rush issues a challenge to hairy-chested Jonah Marx, easily my favorite sex wrestler of late. Tyler seems certain that his lovely and unblemished body is up to the task of kicking Jonah's butt. As he speaks, he smirks, looking down his nose at the camera, glib and entirely confident in his superiority. "Oh boy," I say to myself. "This is going to be tasty." I feel my temperature rise by a good three or four degrees. The feeling sweeps over me like a wave. From the start, Jonah lays claim to every inch of Tyler's smooth body--like an eagle taking possession of a small, prettily coifed marsupial. The arrogance in Josh's eyes fades, dilating to undisguised terror. Jonah works him like a procrastinator's science project. He can't wait to plug every hole in the kid's body. Any thought of my being unmoved by such violence is vanquished, too.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Movie Monday: Hercules the Avenger

Hercules the Avenger (La sfida dei giganti, dir. Maurice A. Bright, 1965), with Reg Park as Hercules, Giovanni Cianfriglia as Anteo, Gia Sandri as the Queen, and pretty Luigi Barbini as Hercules' son

After last Monday's bout of cinematic nostalgia, my friend Jason reminded me of this fine peplum adventure that retells the story of  the son of Zeus's epic battle against Antaeus, the son of the earth (Gaea) and a reputedly undefeatable wrestler. The movie happens to be a part of my DVD collection. Despite a weak beginning, the movie does a nice job of building up to the epic wrestling match--in a cave beneath an erupting volcano (top that, McMahon!). The screenwriters complicate the narrative by mixing in subplots lifted from the Orpheus story (in this case Hercules is attempting to save his dying son Xantos) and the Odyssey (with Queen Leda fighting off the attentions of unwanted suitors, much as Penelope did).

Reg Park was arguably the most herculean of all the movie Herculeses, his rugged handsomeness and stalwart physique closely resembling Greek and Roman statues of the demigod. Giovanni Cianfriglia was Steve Reeves' stuntman in the original Hercules, so it's ironic that his Anteo poses as a counterfeit Hercules in Hercules the Avenger. As in the myths, Anteo/Antaeus cannot be defeated so long as any part of his body touches mother earth, so Hercules must raise him off the earth to choke him out. The fight here is a strong contrast to the one in the earlier Hercules, Samson, & Ulysses. The HS&U fight occurs in the bright light of day, whereas the one in HtA is shrouded in darkness, and whereas Hercules and Samson become allies, Hercules and Anteo fight to the death.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Force and Friction

Beast vs Steel, Ring Wars 30 (Thunder's Arena)

On Friday afternoon, Thunder's Arena circulated a preview of Ring Wars 30 among us bloggers of a certain bent, and it's the real deal with quivering muscle, sneak attacks, rope abuse, outside interference, and an illegal foreign object to boot. Mighty Steel impresses. His ring skills are superb, in balance against Beast's pro experience and natural pugnacity. I wasn't expecting the two wrestlers to be this well matched and this keen on getting their mitts on each other.

Steel comes on strong from the start, convincing Beast, in the hardest way possible, that he means business. Anybody expecting Steel to job for the tough-as-nails pro is in for a surprise, and in this all-out war nothing but his haircut and salt-of-the-earth good looks is "babyface" about him. Taken off guard, Beast looks like a goner at first, but he's anything but. Once he gets his bearings and comes back at Steel huffing and puffing, he is every bit the blitzkrieg he appears to be and has proved himself to be in past matches. He's like every Sergio Leone western you've ever seen strapped to a rocket that's aimed at your balls!

I came thisclose to giving up the ending to this match, but a spoiler would be a disservice to fans of wrestling as storytelling. Beast and Steel are so closely matched that only a fool would wager on one against the other. Complicating matters, a third figure lurks in the shadows, waiting to pounce and clutching a weapon. It's unlikely either of the men in the ring needs (or wants) his help, but out of nowhere he strikes--and in a match that's already anybody's guess what the outcome will be, his presence introduces a new level of chaos--a chaos that's going to be somebody's job to clean up, and indeed somebody does. And how!

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Fellow Feeling

Nero Angelo vs Skip Vance, Match 511, Strip Match #3 (UCW)

What else would you expect when UCW's two raunchiest wrestlers vie to out-lewd each other on the wrestling mat? While remaining within the boundaries of an "R" rating, Nero and Skip explore new frontiers (with an emphasis on front). In Match 511, they raise, however fleetingly, the company's former cap on skin on view. Fans of either wrestler cannot afford to miss this historic clash.

Nero is out for revenge after Skip turned tables on him in Match 443. To kill "two birds with one stone," Nero vows to strip every stitch of clothing off his beaming blond opponent in this, UCW's third*, and most explicit, strip match.  Nero, probably the touchiest-feeliest wrestler in all wrestling, can't possibly know what all's in store for him along the way, but it's safe to say that both his birds are roadkill at the end of this cocky 29-minute brawl.

* Fifth by my count: 322, 352, 369, 404, and now 511.

Friday, January 13, 2017


Alex Porteau vs Calvin Knapp, GWF SUPERCARD, 2 October 1992, Dallas (Global Wrestling Federation)

I won't pretend this match is anything but what it is: a non-title mid-card match that does nothing to advance a storyline. Porteau and Knapp fought each other for three months in '92, evidently with the same results, except for a Christmas Day match that reversed winner and loser. There's not much by way of holds, but it does concentrate a lot of attention on one hold I love: the armbar. Also, after wrestling, actual grappling, I mean, my favorite thing is powerhouses tossing each other around, and this match has plenty of that. "Hardbody" Calvin (in light blue and white) is the optimistic new guy, and Porteau (in dark blue) is the cruiserweight champ. I was drawn to the match because of Calvin, but on the whole I am more fascinated with Alex. Pettiness and egocentrism define his style of villainy, and his soft musculature (muscle and fat divvying the curves of his body between them) strikes me as right for pro wrestling. The full 10-minute match can be seen, beginning at the 18:30 mark, at the link above.


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