Bend Me, Shape Me

Tracy Williams vs Dominic Garrini, Born to Fight - Pro Wrestling Charity Event, 12 November 2017, Ridgefield Park, NJ 

This is not a post about how Tracy Williams makes me squee. Though he does. This post won't even attempt to explain Williams's hold on me by pointing out that he has something better than a gimmick, better than eight-pack abs, better than a terrific promo - he has skills. This post isn't even about this match, the most recent of TW's I've seen, which, though rough around the edges, is a good enough argument for my Tracy fixation. What this post is about is wrestling - so move on if you're allergic to my off-the-cuff harangues, no matter how brief or well stated or - I don't mind saying - fundamentally right.

Wrestling is grappling. Period. If there's no grappling or too little to make an impression, it's not wrestling. I don't care what you call it. Just stop calling it wrestling. I'm fine with professional wrestling promotions mixing in other elements to make a match more of a show. I'm especially fond of slugging (not wrestling, but really hot in its own right), the occasional cartwheel or leap off the top ropes (not wrestling, but I'm willing to check my iPhone for a few seconds), and (heaven only knows) a good hard buttfuck (bless you, MuscleBoy, but it's not wrestling either). All these are fantastic or, at worst, tolerable - so long as, let's say, grappling (i.e. wrestling) comprises at least 30% of the show.

So if all I'm getting are backflips and muscle poses, they may or may not impress me, but I'm drawing a line in the sand to say, from now on, I won't be calling it wrestling. I may call it acrobatics (which is a respectable thing all on its own) or physical culture (ditto). If Irish whips outnumber the arm bars and side headlocks, I will not be especially happy, but as long as they don't totally eclipse the grappling, I will put up with them or any other shtick you need to draw enough paying customers to make the show possible or to sell downloads and DVDs. But make no mistake, I flash my debit card for good wrestling as the main course - and, whenever possible, side items of punching, flexing, eye-gouging, and fucking.


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