My Austin Theory

Sure, I know it's creepy for a man my age to ogle pictures of a 20-year-old bodybuilder and wrestler, but I didn't make the rules, which go back as far as ancient times and thread through the Sonnets of Shakespeare to Symphonie Pathétique  to Death in Venice  and onward to the less prudent types you read about on Yahoo! OMG!  After all, it's not as if I'm grabbing the kid's crotch or texting him pictures of me in a jockstrap. I'd have to be a politician or televangelist to have that much chutzpah.

Austin (6'1", 220#) is a beaut. To ignore him and to ignore that fact about him would be a crime against nature. Beauty is beauty whether it's a waterfall or a smooth, muscular body. It would insult the universe to ignore such pulchritude. More importantly, Theory has just emerged from a miracle year not just because he grabbed EVOLVE Wrestling by the nuts from February to December but also because he himself has evolved from self-conscious rookie to self-confident ring phenomenon. Considering he made his ring debut in May 2016, he's grown as fast as that Martian jellyfish that ate Ryan Reynolds in Life.

Austin's early matches - the ones easily available on YouTube - impressed me less because there was not much drama or dance in them - and I'm talking about rhythm, not choreography. But in 2017 he found his beat, and he's starting to shake things up with it. And that's amazing. Maybe in 2018 he will refine the beat, balance the grandstanding with the sadistic detail work of wrestlers like Nathan Cruz and Roderick Strong (still two of the best heels in the business) and create an image that's both authentic and volatile.

When my friend Jim told me that he saw (or might have seen) him at the gym recently, I wanted to post something about Austin Theory. I figure the videos I can watch for free are probably not his best work, but here are some compelling (i.e. hot) moments from the last half of 2017 - one from May, one from September, and one from October. These, in my opinion, represent the pacing, intensity, and ring psychology of a mature wrestler who's sure of himself - and, of course, he's a heel (at least in the most recent two).

Austin Theory vs Cam Carter, Progression -7 May 2017, Greensboro, NC (Fire Star Pro Wrestling)

Austin Theory vs Stephen Wolf, EVOLVE 92 - 22 September 2017, Livonia MI (EVOLVE)

Austin Theory vs BJ Hancock, 1 Oct. 2017, Hanahan, SC (Old School Championship Wrestling)


  1. This appears to be a great survey of Theory's evolution... (but damn, I prefer Bj Hancock in trucks) ...


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