Balls, Bites, Welts, Suffocation, and Kisses

Nero Angelo vs Erik the Viking, Match 591 (UCW)

I can't tell whether Nero's shtick is what I once thought it was - a man-hungry heel who likes to grope his comelier opponents - or whether it has become or always was something different - a reactionary bully compelled to humiliate and debase his opponents. At any rate, he came to UCW with a fully formed gimmick and quickly became a huge fan favorite. I've had reservations about the guy, not sure whether he was poking fun at pervs like me, who enjoy wrestling for the body heat and physical contact, or whether he shared my kink. Maybe the truth lies somewhere in between - or maybe it's something altogether different. Also, lately he's become considerably more studly, and that's a factor definitely worth taking into consideration.

This match arrives just a month after Nero and Erik wrestled in oil, and it starts with an arm-wrestling test of strength  (a draw for some, not so much for me). I like Erik, I like the Viking gimmick, and I'm delighted to see him putting more of his personality up front in this contest. He's plenty enough game, seemingly willing to try almost anything and - delightfully - nonchalant about displaying his muscular body - in this match, in just a green jockstrap. He's definitely at ease with UCW's blend of Three Stooges-style chaos and gladiatorial ruthlessness. He throws a number of Nero's nastiest attacks back at the heel (the border between heel and babyface at UCW having never been well defined), including a butt-bite escape that's just the right balance of sexy, vicious, and eccentric.

The match works - at times brilliantly - in the raunchy style of John Waters' shock cinema at its zenith. Both wrestlers make the most of every move, especially in the 29-minute video's latter half. Again and again, they prove themselves masters of mayhem, as if there were ever any doubt that they are.

Visit UCW here.