Nineteen Inches

Joey Nux vs Ronnie Pearl, Body Slams & Bear Hugs (Wrestler4Hire)

I could watch Joey Nux lick his lower lip all day. The guy epitomizes my idea of the perfect heel from his icicle blue eyes to his chiseled cheekbones, from his massive pecs to his swelling lower abs, from his sneer to his pompous double biceps pose. The guy looks like he hopped out of a GI Joe comic book - or off the cover of a Doc Savage paperback. The word "rugged" is enough to summon his image to memory. His chilling meanness grabs me by the hind-hairs of my balls.

Matches that specialize in holds are not my thing, but tell me there's a 21-minute match of Nux doing little more than body-slamming and bear-hugging Ronnie Pearl (no slouch in the muscles department either), and I'm all over it. Sure, I would like some give and take, but I'll take this, as is, over half the other matches I find online. If I had money, Joey's the wrestler4hire I'd hire in half a heartbeat. This is muscle I can shamelessly kneel down and worship, then bury my face in. What a great guy to have around, night and day, to do my evil bidding! He speaks to my inner Bobby Heenan.

If I don't watch out, Nux is going to drain my W4H credits dry. Six-foot-three, 225 pounds, this thirty-something is perfect. He's a walking-talking erection. Ay yi yi yi yi.

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