Get Wet

Joey Nux vs Jacob Van Acker, Beach (Wrestler4Hire)

Let me tell you, after this summertime surf-turf war, Joey and JVA have zoomed to the top of my lust list. With his concrete physique and tough-guy looks, Joey would make a great Doc Savage, and Jacob looks like he popped out of an early Bret Easton Ellis novel . Not since From Here to Eternity  has a beach looked this sexy. 

The 18-minute video begins in medias res, the quarrel already underway. Nux tells Van Acker, "You're too little to be coming out here thinking this is your beach." Each new word of protest pulls the two closer together. They lock arms, toes digging into the sand and silt. Joey gets Jacob in a choke, which transitions to a reverse full nelson, after which he flings the rookie into shallow water. It's been said elsewhere that Jacob is much stronger than he looks. He makes a bravura counterattack on the strongman, all but choking him out before switching to a small-package cradle.

Though the brawl is give and take, size and muscle give Nux the edge over his spunky adversary. Clouds and low camera angles make the scene darker than the typical studio setting, but the somberness adds more than it subtracts. The gloomy atmosphere adds intensity to the fight, while giving the audience enough of an eyeful of wet muscles and wincing scowls to entertain most crotches for the duration. Better this gloaming than beach-party glitz.

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