A Whole New Ball Game

Axel vs Tyson the Hammer, Match 785 - Ball Busting (UCW)

Loser has to be stripped and has to beg to be pinned - that's the deal Tyson and Axel agree to in a match that not only works, surprisingly, but also shows both champs improving on their former images as tough-guy brawlers. Three-time UCW champion Axel throws down demon-possessed power assaults that I would never have imagined him carrying off this well. It's a giant leap from even his previous UCW match, barely a month ago. Tyson, as ripped as ever, is Axel's butt-boy for most of this 32-minute castration-sensation, but he plays the role with greater conviction than I have seen in him ... ever, including his time (not so long ago) as reigning champion.

Frankly, I was beginning to think the big shots at UCW had begun phoning in their matches, but this thematically silly but effectually exhilarating match gives us two of the company's prime attractions setting each other on fire. I found myself grabbing my crotch every thirty seconds and holding my breath for every second in between. The match offers little variety - it's a "ball busting" by name, and Tyson and Axel don't diverge from that theme for a second. Mounting intensity gives the match its palpitating suspense and its accelerating thrust towards disaster and torturous humiliation.

The concept is simple enough, but the execution (in every sense) is masterful.

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