Crotchety

Cheetah Boy vs Jason Anders, Match 797 - Hump Match (UCW)

UCW has a history of crossing the line of decency and good taste. The only limits are what the wrestlers set for themselves, and the promotion has built a roster of wild boys who will try just about anything twice. Case in point the hump match, which UCW introduced to its playbook about three years ago. Since then, wrestlers like these two, Cheetah Boy and Jason Anders, have embellished the sport, pushing the boundaries of fair play or, often, ignoring them altogether.

Cheetah and Anders thrust the humping further than anybody ... ever. Cheetah Boy is the Picasso of dry humps, constantly reinventing them and challenging us fans to rethink our notions of what wrestling and sport in general mean. Jason Anders is Cheetah's louche partner in crime, and nobody except maybe Nero Angelo compares to them in horny rowdiness with no apparent restraints or technique. Usually, it looks more fun to do than to watch, but this match holds my attention by piling one transgression on top of another, climaxing in a bare-ass suffocation.

In the beginning, Anders hauls Cheetah Boy to the UCW mat and flings him down. No repartee, muscle posing, or arm-wrestling needed. They get to business right off, sitting on each other's face, grabbing cock, and, whenever possible, dry-humping the hell out of any part of the opponent's body that can feasibly be humped. Of particular interest is Cheetah's vibrator assault on Jason's elbow (second GIF above). Tell me you've seen that one before, and I'll call you a liar.

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