Crazy

Tyson the Hammer vs Derrick Cole, Match 805 (UCW)

Both these guys throw their full weight into this match, and the payoff is one of UCW's best matches ever. In my opinion, it's the best thing either Hammer or Cole has done. They have had a couple of years of beating each other up. I think this must be their fifth time facing off in singles competition. And it got me hard - or part of me, anyway. I doubt anyone will be immune to the malice and brutality that light up this 30-minute back-and-forth brawl.

Before the bell sounds, Cole claims to be UCW's only "upstanding" wrestler, bringing "honor and integrity to these mats." And, yes, hallelujah, this is a mat match. Tyson is left almost speechless as Derrick delivers a 100-percent nutso rant. So Tyson lets his actions speak for him. He kicks Derrick in the inner thigh area, close up to the you-know-whats. From that point to the end, these wrestlers' determination to maim, emasculate, tear into, and smash each other is almost nonstop.

Of course, UCW is known for its boundary-less havoc. None has been better at stirring up mayhem than Cole, but here Tyson rises to the bait, forgets he's a gentleman, and rips (or tries to rip) Cole a new asshole. The exaggerated pandemonium is addictive. I wanted this fight to go on for at least an hour. Is such a thing even possible?  UCW has never had a shortage of madmen, but this one takes the cake, licks off the frosting, and hammers it into pulp.

Loved it.

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