Pump

Ken the Wrestler vs Tyson the Hammer, Match 749 - Hump Match (UCW)

A year ago, when El Fuego humped Cheetah Boy's facemask with jackrabbit speed ,,, THAT was a hump match I could, excuse the expression, get behind. And it wasn't even a "hump match," not officially, i.e. not a match in which the wrestlers attempt to out-hump each other. It was totally spur of the moment. I have nothing against humps per se, but they are sexiest when speedily applied and on target. I'm no fan of the hump match, however, though ex-champ Tyson the Hammer has become something of a master of the form at UCW. Hump matches just don't do it for me. Turning the dry hump into a numbers game puts me off.

New guy Ken the Wrestler has, like Tyson, an exquisitely defined physique. Being new, Ken needs breaking in. Late last year he faced Chase Michaels, then teamed up with Chase to face Axel and Zack Reno. Now it's Tyson's turn to bust the recruit's balls. The odds are in the ex-champ's favor. Tyson has the edge in experience and reputation - and he is an avid practitioner of the hump match. Ken puts up a surprisingly strong counter-offensive right off the bat (that first GIF), yet as the 25-minute match draws to its finish, it is impossible to predict who will succeed in out-humping the other. Tyson is a sly devil. But Ken's bigger. In the second half of the contest, there is no shortage of suspense: the advantage pendulums from one to the other.

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