Consequences

Anton Alvarez vs Tyson the Hammer, Match 821 - Consequences (UCW)

Masters of pain and humiliation, Tyson the Hammer and Anton Alvarez know how to give and receive. Their attacks are aimed at their rivals' egos and flesh, equally, and neither has a clear edge over the other until seven minutes before the end of the video. Over the years I have come to admire wrestlers chiefly for their ability to "sell" every turn of the match, more than muscle, more than a pretty face, more than revealing gear, more than ring psychology, more than winning or losing.

All that may mean I'm a bad person, but I'm not inclined to think so. I like mean, but I don't practice it, and I don't encourage it in everyday life. But once you sign the dotted line to go in that direction, I want the full package of agony, indignity, ignominy, disgrace, dishonor, discomfiture, and mishandling. That's what Tyson and Anton deliver here and what I have come to expect of them based on their previous matches.

I do have some problems with the cutesy stuff, the stuff the McMahons would think is a showstopper. The upshot of losing a round is sometimes more twee than I can stomach. Here the loser has to draw a piece of paper on which he reads a prescribed indignity that has nothing to do with the whupping his opponent just gave him, Instead of forcing him to hang jockstraps on his ears (not a thing, really, just a hypothetical), I say let the winner kick even more crap out of the guy.

I can only speak for myself, of course. The good old days of butt-stompings out behind the school gymnasium are my ideal, and though many disagree, it should be the guy who's the bully, who has a chip on his shoulder, who picked the fight in the first place who ought to get his ass blistered.

Visit UCW here - and thank you, UCW, for having the pride flag on your home page this month.