Saturday, October 25, 2014


Cal Bennett, 5'11", 210#, entered my fantasies before I saw his debut match in BG East's Hunkbash 16. For an hour this past week, Cal fought a cage match against an oiled-up Latin lover type, ultimately pulverizing his opponent in an almost endless bear hug. The match, the cage, and the bear hug were all the ideas of an online friend with whom I've been co-scripting fantasy wrestling showdowns for, gee, five years at least. That hug infused my later fantasies, along with those pool-like eyes and the hair gathering around his navel, cinching Cal's place in my wrestling pantheon before I'd even seen him in action.

I deliberately waited to view (and review) this match pitting new meat Cal against a barefoot Chace LaChance, 5'9", 190#, enjoying my anticipation gram by gram. Don't shoot me for saying it, but when at last I played the DVD, I fast-fowarded through the five minutes of preliminaries (poses, arm wrestling, test of strength) to get to the meat and potatoes (for me), which Chace inaugurates by catching Cal with a low blow from behind.

As I have said before (many times), the bashing of hunks is not my preferred storyline in underground wrestling*, but when it's hunk bashing another hunk, I am a ridiculously easy mark. Sexy Chace initiates Cal into the brutal corporate culture of BG East, inflicting the new hunk's body with all the punishments likely to highlight every knot of muscle on his body and every jiggle of flesh. Now Cal's torso is stuck on my retina like peanut butter on the roof of the mouth.

For a newcomer, Cal sells every spasm of pain and every emasculating humiliation. He's almost as good at ladling up the payback, striking the right balance of gym bunny arrogance and rookie enthusiasm. His trendy hairstyle gets mussed up in the clash, but the man still cranks up the sexy-time heat even at his most mussed up. Chace is every bit as good a heel as he once was a jobber. He knows how to temper abs of steel between thighs of steel. The two together are very Michelangelo.

The main event of Hunkbash 16 is huge fun for me, one I will watch again and soon. I can't wait for more of this, more of Cal, more of Chace, maybe more of the two of them together one day as tag partners facing Coop and Jenks ... at BGE or only in my dreams. Chace and especially Cal have leapt to the top of my "wrestlers to watch" list.

* In truth, BG East's Hunkbash series has provided me with some of my favorite matches, with a higher stroke ratio than almost any other series, except perhaps Wrestleshack: Kid Leopard vs. Scottie Nguyen, Kid Leopard vs. Cliff Conlin, Wade Cutler vs. Kid Leopard, Cruze vs. Mike Columbo, Christopher Bruce vs. Dante Rosetti, Christopher Bruce vs. Mike Columbo, Brad Rochelle vs. Dante Rosetti, Brigham Bell vs. Patrick Donovan, Mikey Vee vs. Jeff Phoenix, Brad Rochelle vs. Joe Mazetti, Mikey Vee vs. Del Harris, Justin Pierce vs. Blaze, Dave Christian vs. Cpl. John Daniels, Joe Mazetti vs. Aryx Quinn, Kid Vicious vs. Jace Bradley, Braden Charron vs. Jonny Firestorm, Jake Jenkins vs. Kid KarismaDev Michaels vs. Austin Cooper, Joe Robbins vs. Eddy Rey, and Logan Vaughn vs. Lane Hartley.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Digging Doug

Animal grace and back-alley toughness meet in the two bodies we see stretching and warming up at the start of Movimus's newest UltraHD download. In his third match, Dave Markus, 5'9", 171#, has the poise and composure of a GQ model, whereas newcomer Doug Acre, 5'6", 164#, makes me think military or law enforcement. Both are knockouts, and the match would be worth its price for the eye candy alone, even if they weren't both formidable mat grapplers too, which I'm happy to report they are.

Markus, who bowled me over in his initiatory matches (against Thornton and Stokes), hits a wall with Acre, who brings (we're told) over ten years of wrestling experience with him to the Movimus mats. The two wrestlers are in a dead heat for a solid 17 minutes. What Markus lacks in experience, he makes up for in resilience and unflinching nerve, along with a small but significant height and weight advantage. Acre opens aggressively, putting Markus on the mat and on defense, but Markus is a born fighter, with limited experience but excellent instincts.

Within five minutes Acre is shiny with sweat, but Markus stays cool and collected as a process server. At first it looks like Dave may be letting Doug wear himself out, but if anything Doug intensifies the offense as the contest goes. Soon enough, Marcus is panting as Acre permits him no rest. There are no coffee breaks while Doug is on the mat. He sticks on Markus like a tick. Yet Markus withstands everything Acre throws at him. For all their differences, this is a close and tight contest to the end, one of Movimus's most engaging to date.

This match ends with enough unfinished business between the contestants to fill up two or three rematches. And if they are anything like the bold horn-butting we see here, I will want to see every single one.

Thursday, October 23, 2014


Here are some of the many faces and tonsorial stylings (and one swell bod) of Chris "The Shark" Andrews, 5'10", 224#, 30-year-old wrestler from Devon, England, currently active at WrestleForce and Swiss Wrestling Zone, where he can be watched (here on YouTube) in combat against the excessively well-groomed Magic Sly in a match from this past April.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Gay Chicken

In ThunderTV's recent release, Bear challenges Logan to a game of gay chicken: straight guy challenging another straight guy to kiss, the chicken being the guy who cringes and backs off first. Bear says it's not much different than wrestling a guy. Logan draws close, but can't quite make himself lock lips with Bear. So Bear suggests a little body worship as a warmup exercise. 

Logan's okay with this, since, he says, rubbing a guy's muscle is a little closer to wrestling, you know, "regular guy stuff." Then Bear coaxes Logan into kissing his hairy chest, telling him to just pretend he's kissing "a furry something else." Logan gets it on with Bear's pec for a few seconds, but then suddenly backs off, repulsed, claiming he's straight and can't go the hairy tit route either.

Bear threatens to force Logan into kissing him on the mouth. The sex predator vibe is a little on the strong side (not to mention the inherent homophobia of the game), but it's all in fun. Logan is just playing a role here. And so is Bear. I trust the guys at Thunders Arena. And I'm a kinkster, besides. I too have acted out rape fantasies with a boyfriend and got off on them. I get the appeal. It's naughty, and it touches on deep-seeded desires and fears."Oh God it's gross," Logan protests. But he is smiling the whole time. 

Bear raises the perfectly valid point that saying "it's gross" is not the same thing as saying "no." He bends Logan over and gives the guy a quick spanking. "You wanna get rough?" Bear asks him, with a hint of mischief in his expression. "Thunders knows I like it rough."

Logan looks game, and the two start wrestling. On command, Logan kisses Bear's cannonball biceps. Bear then puts Logan in several compromising positions that resemble the positions we often see in pro wrestling and gay porn alike. Ringside at Skull Island is built almost entirely on such similarities (just check out the banner above). 

Bear moves the contest outside, at poolside, the sun having set. The visual double entendres continue, poking fun at the idea that, as so many wrestlers and wrestling fans claim, there's nothing even remotely erotic about wrestling--not "real" wrestling anyway. It also pokes fun--"poke" being the operative word--at the notion of straight guys playing gay "for pay" (or "on a dare"), but denying that some part of them likes it (or is at least bi-curious).

"I can see why you enjoy dominating so much," Logan tells Bear later, after turning the tables on him, "it's kinda fun!" The wrestlers crisscross roles of dominant and submissive, gay and straight, sex and roughhouse many times in this 25-minute tease, making this ThunderTV's slyest and most subversive match to date. 

The finish is a hot and wet (and wholly consensual) kiss on the lips, but, of course, it's imperative for the victor to refer to it as a "kiss of death," because these guys are straight (right?) and totally grossed out by gay stuff. 

But, ooh ooh ooh, what a little moonlight can do!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Big Brother

Eli Black calls dibs on breaking in young, wide-eyed Vincent Stone. Eli says he trained the kid, introduced him to UCW, and been "like a big brother to him." Vincent is ferret-slim, the sort of victim Eli likes to torment most (like Jack Marino, Johnny Deep, and Jax before him). Vincent seems happy enough to oblige: When Black tells him he's about to get his ass kicked, Vincent grins back and says he's looking forward to it.

And so am I. But I have to wait since Vincent starts off like gangbusters against the ex-champ, giving big brother something to get steamed up over, and God knows I enjoy a steamed-up Eli Black. About three-quarters through this match [#375], Vincent pulls a foreign object out of his trunks to gain an unsporting advantage over Black--proof positive in my book that Eli did in fact train him.

Black is the man of a thousand holds, a third of them strictly forbidden by any wrestling rulebook. But he has more moves than just about anybody else at UCW. Midway through this match, while keeping Vincent hogtied so he can chat up the fans, Eli invites us to drop him a line via UCW fanmail and request moves we haven't seen at UCW in a while. (I'd be interested in a cannonball senton.)  BodySlam says you either love Eli or hate him, but I can't do one without doing the other too, just a reaction the guy draws out of some people, I reckon. 

Eli has charisma out the wazoo. He shines on camera. He's one of those wrestlers who make me smile every second the camera is on them. For one thing Eli is always "on." There's not a moment in any Eli Black match that he's not in the moment. Sometimes you see other wrestlers work up a response or emotion two or three seconds too late. You won't catch Eli Black not emoting. He emotes every second of a match, projecting rage, pain, confusion, arrogance, you name it, and never a half-second out of sync with the action. The guy's a natural, and I gotta love him ... and (mostly) hate him.


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