Friday, July 29, 2016

Working Man's Payday

Dory Funk Jr. vs Mike Davis, 22 September 1982 (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling)

It is payday. I thought I'd celebrate with a salute to one of the all-time great heels working one of the all-time great jobbers. It's a short match. It lasts just about as long as my paycheck usually does. The angle here is that Funk (41, 6'2", 240#) offers Davis (25, 5'11", 233#) $100,000 if Davis is able to pin Funk's shoulders to the mat for a three-count, NWA rules prevailing, with a 10-minute time limit. It's big money the like of which Mike has never seen. The hungry kid signs on the dotted line. The moral of the story is pretty well summed up in the GIF.

Thursday, July 28, 2016


Ben vs Aaron, Jockstrap Match (Nicky's World and Web)

Ben (Josh at Fightroom) and Aaron (also of Fightroom) take to the mats in jockstraps in this early and (I assume) pre-Fightroom wrestling contest. There are a number of different muscle-themed downloads available at UK-based Nicky's World and Web. This is the site's only jockstrap match. It's a 27-minute exhibition of awesomeness, no intros or breaks, probably the best jockstrap wrestling I have seen. Ever.

Not only are Ben and Aaron in tiptop shape; they know wrestling. The match contains too many high points to count: amazing bulge (Aaron's, bless him and his white jersey-knit strap), amazing face-sitting (starring Ben's muscular butt cheeks), amazing rear naked choke*, and amazing rictus of unutterable agony. The standard definition camerawork is adequate, but like everybody else nowadays, I have been spoiled by high def. As it is, the video is clear enough to capture the wrestlers' beauty and convey the intensity and force of their struggle. The audio is a gut-wrenching wall of sound--grunts, groans, and bodies colliding. In almost every respect, I am blown away.

Ben vs Aaron reifies what previously had been only fantasy for me. On the basis of Ben/Josh vs Aaron on Fightroom, I already expected the battle to be superb, but I did not expect to be this impressed. Solid boner playground here, a new (new to me) benchmark in online m4m wrestling, featuring two hot wrestlers at their hottest and toughest.

* The match checklists all the moves I deem essential to homoerotic** wrestling: collar and elbow, bear hug (chest to chest and reverse), body scissors, head scissors, chin-lock, arm bar, schoolboy pin, judo throw, full nelson, Boston crab (single leg and full), test of strength, camel clutch, side headlock, cross-body pin, and figure-four leg lock, most more than once, plus more holds I don't know the names of.

** Besides disliking the word for its mouth-full-of-peanut-butter garble, I am beginning to feel that "homoerotic" is redundant in reference to wrestling. Wrestling is, almost by definition, sexually exciting. Even straight men admit women's wrestling and mixed-gender wrestling are sexually charged.  Out gay and bi men have the advantage of not having to pretend otherwise for m4m wrestling.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Young Tiger Title Match

Gareth Logan vs Faust, 18 June 2016 (Tigers Pro Wrestling)

Hey, Dale, THANKS! French wrestler Gareth "Alpha" Logan is every bit as hot as you said he is. The comparison to Cliff Conlin is dead on--lumbering slow-burn assaults mixed with explosions of raw violence. (I also detect a glimmer of young Adam Baldwin, circa 1982, in the face.) Gareth heaves his full weight into this luscious 17-minute battle in Marseille. Thanks for recommending him (other readers, read Dale's full comment here).  That hothead Faust is something else, too. The two together are volatile.

(Warning: Spoiler in the last GIF.)

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Mammal Mia

Marco vs Bear, No Holds Barred 67 (Thunder's Arena)

Based on the intro you might think the Marco-Bear match stocks more cuddles and fondling than grunts and groans. Lately in high rotation at the Arena, Bear cozies up to a resting Marco, who is finicky about Bear's body hair, but stiffly permits Bear to pet his smooth hard muscles. All the while, Marco looks ill at ease, like a kid forced to model the sweater Aunt Harriet knitted for his birthday. Bear* tries to make a case for ursine pulchritude and loosen Marco up. Something's a bit off with the chemistry here, either too little or too much. The moment reeks of awkward social interaction (with which I am well acquainted). I want a fight.

"Let's just get this over with," Marco suggests, grossed out by Bear's bristly virility. "We don't like hairy guys here," he adds, rolling his opponent into a half-hearted slow-motion pin. Bear feints a claw hold to the forehead, but Marco responds by kayfabe-clawing Bear's crotch. In a no-sell mood, Bear mocks the attack, "Kinda like grabbing my own dick. You're not doing anything with it." Marco answers with a tight, aargh-generating clutch. The grip is unholy tight, and Marco lifts the dude off the mat by it. Now this is more like it!

Bear backs Marco to the wall and fondles then punches the wrestling god's taut six-pack. He then repays Marco for the wrench-like squeeze to the nards. A few minutes of give and take leads to Marco schooling Bear on how a real bear-hug works, capped with a back-breaker across the knee. Next we get a brief Marco-led tutorial on the many ways a trained wrestler can hurt and humble his opponent. Bear retaliates, but before we hit the video's midpoint it seems obvious that this is Marco's show. It would appear that Bear's he-man styling counts for nothing against Marco's raw power and wrestling experience.

The guys take a break for some posing. Bear tries to use Marco's muscle-pride against our boy. He argues that the "ultimate compliment" may be to admire a man's physique while simultaneously trying to beat him up. I think Bear is on to something. It strikes me as an altogether natural response to want to engage a well-built male body in a fight, even when there's no chance of victory. Such are the mysteries of the male libido, as I have argued many times on this blog. Good or bad, it's still in our hormones to fight and fuck, and so far the mammalian body has not evolved to the point where the two urges are mutually exclusive.

The match's climax comes swiftly, a sudden turnabout, and it is multi-orgasmic, lasting two minutes. It is exactly what I wanted it to be, satisfying both my sense of narrative justice and some dark and primal place in the brain I do not yet have an explanation for.

* If some talented gay filmmaker decides to make a live-action movie of Ed Luce's remarkable Wuvable Oaf, I hope Bear at least gets an audition. It could be a good casting choice so long as Bear has no cat allergies.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Mужской Tорс

Ivan Gromov vs Vladimir Kulakov vs Alexei Schukin, Wrestliada 2015 (IWF)

Gromov wears the dark metallic blue trunks, Kulakov, the black trunks and long-sleeve top, and Schukin, the black trunks with no top. This is a three-way match from last fall in Moscow. The winner is to be a top contender for the IWF heavyweight championship. This past February, the winner of this contest went on to win the title.

Gromov is the only one of the three wrestlers I follow, so he's my man. I suspect he would be, even if I were more familiar with the other two. The keen observer will detect that Ivan's torso* is the focus of all these GIFs. I consider Gromov's torso, back, butt, and thighs among the great achievements of 21st-century manliness.

Right around the 9:30 mark (not pictured above), Kulakov kneels next to a fallen Gromov and kisses him on the mouth. Brave man. Keep in mind that this is Russia, so the kiss means nothing (well, in this context it means "you're my bitch" and that's something). You better believe Ivan makes Vladimir pay for the effrontery.

* My seventh-grade science-fair project in Japan (where I lived at the time) was a display of all the muscles in the male torso, so my expertise goes back decades.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Fight You for It

Chase Michaels vs Kevin Lin, #480 (UCW)

I love it when UCW rookies take each other on. With only a few matches under their belt, every single contest is important, and neither one knows what to expect. There's similar tension when two veterans face off too, but for rookies much more seems to be at stake.

Michaels and Lin are bright, sexy, young, and competitive. In size, strength, and experience they are more or less equals. They like it when the other guy cries out in pain, knowing that they are the source of that pain. And, more importantly, they're willing to put up with a lot of pain to be on top.

Introductions are brisk and to the point. Chase is matter of fact when he states this match will decide who's the better of the two. There's no animosity, no showboating, no hidden agenda. But this is UCW, so we already know the fight will be rough, fast, and steamy. Nobody cares whether the camera is catching their good side at UCW. Here, looking good always takes a back seat to kicking butt. Lin and Michaels do both.

The two lock up, and Chase throws Kevin to the mat. The next thing you see is Chase slamming his fist to Kevin's flinching face. As I said, things happen quickly at UCW. Less than a minute later, Kevin grabs Chase in a headlock and drags him back down to the mat. The give and take spins so fast I need to remind myself who's wearing which color trunks just to keep up.

Though close in size and weight, the bodies are athletic in contrasting ways. Michaels is wiry, long-limbed, built at sharp angles like a tennis pro. Lin is silky, with the buoyant and palpable curves of an Olympic swimmer. They are similarly aggressive, tough but pragmatic and strategic. They exert the force necessary to achieve their purpose, no more and no less.

A third of the way through, they are sweaty. Realizing that an easy submission is out of the question, they become more ruthless in their attacks. Neither is wearing down any faster than the other. They put their shoulders into the task of destroying the opponent. Joints get twisted, knuckles raise welts, knees grind to vertebrae ... pretty much business as usual at UCW, but for Kevin and Chase, everything hangs on their next move. In the end, only one stands, striking a double biceps pose for the fans, while the other is face down on the mat, spread-eagle, knocked the fuck out.

If I had doubts whether youthful aggression is inherently sexy, I would need to look no further than UCW's latest.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Neo Fights

Chriss vs Neo, Summer Sizzler (PWP)

I doubt I can explain my interest in PWP Wrestling as anything but what it is. Lust. PWP is not at all like the wrestling I usually cover in these pages. It's not like wrestling at all. However, if the models were not attempting some semblance of wrestling, I would probably not be interested in writing about them (or, in my dreams, rubbing oil over their bodies).

PWP matches are best appreciated in comparison with the old Athletic Model Guild films and the posed "action" shots in Physique Pictorial, which were before my time, so I'm fairly certain they were before the time of most visitors to this blog. But like the pre-Stonewall mail-order films and magazines celebrating the male body, PWP matches feature spectacularly fit boy-next-door types gamely pretending to wrestle.

They haven't a clue what they're doing, but I am thankful they are doing it, whatever it is: it most definitely not being wrestling. Still, it is grist for my private wrestling fantasies, like good old AMG.

Since I first discovered PWP, ten or more years ago, the video quality has improved significantly. The videos are brighter and sharper than the earlier releases. I see more interesting closeups. I would say the wrestlers, on the whole, are more attractive too, though the site has always drawn its talent from Montreal strip clubs, which, on several levels, ensures quality control, physiques-wise.

The company's latest release, Summer Sizzler, consists of four matches (available all together in a DVD or purchasable as separate downloads). Two matches introduce Neo, a strikingly handsome young man whose chiseled torso persuaded me to purchase the whole set.

I have nothing to say in defense of Neo's wrestling abilities. I didn't see any at all, and he seems unconcerned about his limited arsenal of wrestling holds. The body and the haircut are sufficiently enchanting by themselves. His opponents, Vince and Chriss, are also very easy on the eyes and no better grapplers than he is.

Yes, I would be happier if these guys had the heart for fighting, but their willingness to play-wrestle in skimpy trunks deserves some gratitude. I am definitely not kicking myself for buying these downloads. I knew what I was getting, and I am entertained by the skinny trunks, hard biceps, and the graceful swivel of Neo's hips. I love beauty, but wrestling is my kink. Therefore, my imagination has to provide the holds, blows, and knockouts the videos do not.

If you start hating yourself because you too fell for the hot bulges, smooth muscle, and the imagined scent of M7 by Yves Saint Laurent, you can always lay the blame on me. I honestly will not mind. I have a soft spot in my heart for PWP, and I will not disavow it here or in the foreseeable future. Like most other guilty pleasures, it lacks substance worthy of the affection (and bucks) spent on it, but the affection is indeed genuine and profuse. There's something here (I really don't know what) that I don't find anywhere else.

Vince vs Neo, Summer Sizzler (PWP)


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