Biff and Van Make My Day

This short and sweet match from BG East's October catalog is basically everything I ask of wrestling: two studs equally matched in size, skill, athleticism, and hotness wrestling in the bright, clean sunshine. As the match progresses, the two become sweatier and more combative. A third of the way through the fight, I can almost see the testosterone surrounding them like an aura, and they don't stop until one of them is knocked clean the fuck out. If I believed in heaven, this is the one I would sign up for. 

I bought Ripped Rookies 2: Backyard Battle with part of my December bonus money (yep, I spent the rest of it on wrestling too). Biff Farrell caught my eye earlier this year in promo pics for a match I passed on because he was wrestling a guy who, through no fault of his, rubs me the wrong way--on screen, at least--just one of those things, nothing personal. Biff's next match was a one-sided beatdown against a wrestler I like quite a lot, but I don't care for squash jobs as a rule--unless the jobber is an asshole deserving of a beating. I am peculiar. I admit it. This is Van Skyler's debut at BGE. (His second match and Biff's fourth were released this month.)

I was interested in everything I saw in Biff's still pictures. I just needed to wait for the right combination of opponent and match style, and happily that came sooner than expected, in late October. I liked Skyler's look. He's well built, though not as thick as Biff, with a hairy chest and (like Biff) a severe haircut.

What is more, nothing in the catalog description scared me away from the video. I typed in my VISA info, and four days later Biff and Van were in my mailbox. I inserted the disk in my DVD player, and in seconds I knew that it exceeded even my raised expectations.

There's no backstory here. The match is self-explanatory, and except for the eternal story of two alpha-males butting heads, one rising to the top through strenuous effort, there is no narrative. The dialogue is secondary to the music of their grunts and groans. Van and Biff are both engaging yet seriously competitive guys, and by turns I have rooted for each in four (going on five) consecutive viewings. I suspect I will be squeezing in more viewings before the end of the month. Ripped Rookies 2 is the sort of match I feared wrestling video companies weren't interested in making anymore: simple freestyle and submission moves, respectfully accomplished ("gentlemanly," to use a sadly archaic word), without irony, affectation, or vulgarity, natural and unforced virility. The video is a record of a perfect moment passed between two men.


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