Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Mr. Blkmuscles

The TheMrBlkmuscles Channel is the most intriguing new thing on YouTube since STEELMUSCLEGOD, who, sad to say, has "been terminated due to multiple or severe violations of [the company's] Community Guidelines" (why oh why doesn't YouTube let me decide the community guidelines?) 

MrBlkmuscles is Darius, 37, 5'10", 197#, who looks like a big bronze statue of Triton come to life.  Maybe you saw him in Ringwars 16 at BG East.  In the earlier YouTube videos he wrestles his hapless opponents in a conventional ring, at a gym apparently.  More provocatively and interestingly, in his latest posts he takes on his hyperbolically bull-like opponents in the lavishly appointed bedroom of his Victorian Boston residence.  So, on my seventeenth viewing, when my eye at last wanders from the massive, moaning pulchritude rolling and slugging it out on the floor, for two out of three falls, I can then further envy him for that leopard-skin-upholstered settee--my god, it's gorgeous!

The man has the buzzcut and the attitude of a Marine drill sergeant and, first impressions, teeth three stories high.  The man has mythic proportions all over him.  According to his profile, his goal is to break into pro-wrestling video production--and the videos he's posted this last month are evidence of a vision and a flair for the colossal that are promising of fabulous things to come.  With tastes in home decor as baroque as the man's physique, Darius's video company could produce the Gladiator that would have been, had only Gianni Versace lived to direct it.

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