Sunday, December 18, 2011

Erogenous Plot Points















In television and film, a plot point is a significant event within a plot that digs into the action and spins it around in another direction--Wikipedia (emphases mine)
Here  and here is an old Rock Solid Wrestling match (October 24, 2009) between two adversaries who have met more than once: snaggletoothed but chiseled heel Anthony Darko and burly good guy Scotty the Body. The month before this match Scotty beat Darko at a different promotion's show, but the tables turn at the climax of this match.

I present this match because it provides a checklist of many things I like about the "drama" of pro wrestling--by which I mean elements that exist beyond the wrestlers' appearance, to whose effects I am far from immune, and external trappings such as promos and pyrotechnics, about which I have little to no interest. 

I find both these wrestlers attractive in dissimilar ways, but personal sex appeal is not my topic today. Instead, I am mulling over a theory I have: that is, that the dramatic elements of a pro wrestling event can be erotic (for me and probably for others), regardless of the wrestlers' personalities and physiques--that is, there are some things I would find "sexy" even if the participants were personally unsexy, say, Newt Gingrich and Glenn Beck (just to mention two men who make my weenie go limp). 

If true, this theory would account for the fact I can get turned on by women's wrestling even though I am pretty sure I am a Kinsey 6 (at worst, a 5)--or that even cartoon combat (Popeye versus Bluto, or Mighty Mouse versus various feline opponents) and absurdly comic battles (such as the fight scenes in Borat, Nacho Libre, and Bruno) can sometimes make me feel "funny down there." And the effects can be the same if the fighters are fully dressed--so nudity is always a factor in my sado-erotic desires, but not the factor.

So watch the video, and tell me what "works" for you, if you care to. Here is what works for me:
  1. Sneakily attacking an opponent outside the ring (1st picture, above), preferably from behind, especially if the attack is met with immediate payback (2nd and 3rd pictures)
  2. Tossing an opponent in and out of the ring (3rd picture)
  3. Pulling an opponent into the fight (4th picture)
  4. Spinning an opponent by his feet (5th picture), seen all too rarely outside cartoons, in my opinion--but a move that's difficult to pull off in live action without its looking simply playful (the trick here, I think, is the loud bang as Darko's body hits the mat)
  5. Wearing down an opponent with a series of vicious jabs (6th picture)
  6. Lifting an opponent off his feet (7th picture), especially if the goal is to carry him to a wall or turnbuckle to crush him
  7. Shaking the cobwebs out after an intense brutalization (8th picture), all the more delectable when both fighters are down on the mats at the same time, birds and stars spinning over their heads (10th picture)
  8. Thrusting out of a near pin at the two count (9th picture)--this peripety never wears thin for me for some reason--a single match could have twenty such reversals and you would not hear a word of complaint from me
  9. Cornering and mounting an opponent (11th picture)--I suppose the Freudian implications of this are fairly obvious
  10. Using the ropes illegally and sadistically (12th picture)--again, Freud might have a word or two to say about grinding an opponent's body against a long, firm, black, cylindrical object
  11. Hoisting an opponent on your shoulders and spinning him (13th picture, cf. #4 and #6)--My opinion is that dizziness is an echo of the lightheadedness at sexual climax (I can't say whether Freud ever weighed in on the subject, but he should have)
  12. Finishing an opponent, body on body (14th picture)--one of the reasons I favor a pinfall over a knockout and why I think even a submission must involve the victor physically and heavily on top of the vanquished--One aspect of MMA that I find unsatisfying is that all too often the guy underneath is able to twist a submission out of the guy on top: this is not what the gods or nature intended.

1 comment:

  1. Never heard of Anthony Darko before (guy in yellow). After seeing his hot body in the pictures above and watching his youtube matches, I can say he is my new favorite heel.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...