Pleasure and Fear

When [Demian] first regained contact with me, it was also in a dream, strangely enough. It was like this: I dreamt again about being beaten and terrorized, but this time instead of Kromer [an older, bigger boy at school] it was Demian kneeling on me. And--this was entirely new and made a strong impression on me--all that Kromer had made me suffer in the way of torture and struggling against it, I accepted from Demian gladly and with an emotion made up just as much of pleasure as of fear. from Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth (1919) by Hermann Hesse, translated by Stanley Appelbaum (2000)