Saturday, May 25, 2013

You Wanna Play Crazy? ... Let's Get Nuts!

These days I'm a bit skeptical about UCW-Wrestling's "lost" series--matches purportedly pulled from the company's vaults after years of neglect. The latest [#281] features Quinn Harper versus a mysterious masked wrestler who goes by the name Max Pain. Since Quinn's UCW appearances stretch back only as far as last month, the more accurate label might be not "lost," but "temporarily mislaid." Previous "lost" matches have been highly specialized, often custom orders focused on a particular hold or style of gear requested by the customer. While previous numbers in the series have offered me moments of excitement and amusement, Quinn versus Max is quality wrestling entertainment from start to finish, quite possibly the closest UCW has come to ring-style catch wrestling, only without a ring, obviously.

The action is fast-paced and violent, without preface or formalities. Max introduces himself by driving a bare foot to Quinn's midsection, and the battle's on, simple as that. Quinn, hardly typical of the company's bevy of pretty boys, has proved himself a valuable addition to the roster--bringing an unmatched level of intensity and boldness to a company highly esteemed for its free and easy schoolboy sadism. His wrestling savvy and berserker ferocity add heat to every match, and Max matches him degree by degree, Fahrenheit. Quite unlike the sylphlike opponents Quinn has faced previously, Max has the rugged build of a lucha-libre wrestler--and the swagger of a seasoned ring veteran. 

This grunt-and-sweat fight gives me everything I ask of pro wrestling, except the ring: body slams, elbow drops, drop kicks, chokes, two-counts, figure-fours, reversals, crab holds, clutches, scissors, armbars, and (it goes without saying at UCW) nard-jangling low blows. (And for once we've got a competitor who repays Quinn for his "anal intruder" ploy in kind!) The sheer variety in tactics these two wrestlers demonstrate is exhilarating. They pack the full 35 minutes with bone-twisting, nerve-spasming moves. I found myself shouting, "More of that, yeah!" but no sooner reached the exclamation point than Max and Quinn had moved on to another jaw-dropping move. Nothing's "lost" on these guys. They know how to work each other ... and work me up. This is Skull Island-certified boner material and one of the great matches of UCW history! I want a "lost" rematch! I want more Pain! And nobody but nobody should wrestle in front of a camera again until they've watched and studied this fight.

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