Bite Club

Ethan Axel Andrews as a vampire? I don't know about that. I like Ethan. I like vampire stories. I like wrestling. But the three together? Well, I have to say the kid pulls it off*, pretty convincing as an epicene bloodsucker with Flash LaCash, all muscle and military-style flattop, in his thrall in this 30-minute video from CameronWrestler.com. (Buy it for download today at US$14.95. The price goes up tomorrow, September 25th.)

Here's the setup. In a sporting mood, the melancholy fanger pulls Flash ("one of the better-looking ones,"** Ethan murmurs with breathy appreciation) away from his shadowy shackles to a mist-shrouded, ghostly lit wrestling ring. The stakes are that a victory for Flash means he can take Ethan's place among the Vampire Overlords (and Ethan presumably explodes into a bushel basket of rapidly evaporating blood and guts--there are literally stakes on the four ring posts in case Flash gets lucky). If Ethan wins, Flash is Ethan's for eternity, but, first, Ethan gets some quality time to play with his dinner.

I like it. It's like my darkest fantasies of a fight-to-the-death scenario, with touches of The Hunger, Plan 9 from Outer Space, and Fight Club thrown in for added fun. But if the better part of this video weren't solid grunt-and-grimace wrestling, I wouldn't be writing about it. Supernatural forces make it easier to swallow the premise that the iron-shouldered victim here is ever in any real danger of losing the battle. But the wrestling, I think, holds up on its own.

With autumn in the air and only 37 more days till Halloween, Andrews-vs-LaCash is what I was craving for without even realizing it, a sexy-spooky treat, directed by King Cameron himself. Flash is convincingly vengeful, since his friend ("a young religious man") is at ringside the whole time, unlikely to go anywhere since he's flat on his shirtless back in a coffin. I have to hand it to Ethan, though. He sells the whole "creatures of the night" gimmick 100 percent, exuding enough sexy menace to both tent my trousers and goose my flesh.

* He's no Gangrel. But I see that as a good thing.
** "Hot as a tiger's dick" is more like it, in my critical opinion.