Tough Old Birds in Black Trunks
On Sunday, I commented on the detail work Zack Sabre Jr. executes on his opponent Biff Busick. I would bet money that Zack learned the finger stretch and knee dig by watching pre-1980 television wrestling matches.
When I was 16 and watching matches similar to this Bob Geigel and Cowboy Bob Ellis blowup in St. Louis (in two parts on YouTube, here and here), I liked the moves but thought the wrestlers were old and gross. (Both Bobs were in their forties when they fought this 1969 match, 16-21 years younger than I am today.) I wondered what it would be like to see young, buff athletes perform the same moves.
Today I face the opposite problem: gorgeous bodies in the ring (especially in underground wrestling) but very little body contact. I wonder what it would be like to see these young, buff athletes perform the slow, grinding moves of the old-timers. With the exception of the brief shining moment of Kevin Von Erich 35 years ago, I still haven't seen a sustained convergence of pretty muscle and up-close and detailed grappling.
If I had a wrestling promotion, I'd sit my young studs down in front of the TV set for two or three hours every Friday night to watch pre-"attitude era," pre-WWF, pre-Superstation wrestling. The old stuff wasn't perfect, but there's plenty the younger generation could learn about working an opponent from these matches, which packed erotic heat just by emphasizing the intensity of male aggression and not trying too hard to be overtly "sexy."
|As a teenager I would spot somebody like the red-shirted rock'n'roller, arms crossed|
against the chest, and imagine him in the ring. Even now, I hope he was thinking,
"I'd sure like to try that hold on this yellow-shirted kid on my right."
|Ellis works every inch of Geigel's arm, slowly, attentively, deliberately.|
|Arm bars and arm locks always bone me up, the longer and closer they are held the better.|
|If you watch the video, notice how long Geigel deliberates whether to punch Ellis in the kidneys. |
He makes sure everybody in the house sees his reptile mind ticking away.
|Geigel grabs Ellis's hair, holds it ... holds it ... and then he yanks.|
|Is that a bulge? I think that might be a bulge!|
|The arm bar is full-on sex when you pull the arm up against your warm body.|
|The slow, painful elbow dig to the back of Geigel's neck. Yes!!!|
|Eight-pack abs can take that punch and not feel a thing. |
A round gut is just begging for that punch because it will SO feel it.
|Some ethicists say that what you would do in secret determines your character.|
In wrestling, what you do to an opponent on the ring apron determines
|Always, always, always take advantage of the ropes.|
|Pretty sweet O-face, Cowboy.|
|Ellis grinds his knee into the side of Geigel's head.|
|Wrestling Arsenal is right about so many things, but especially|
right about this one thing: nothing suggests the surrender of your
"man card" quite like having your "legs spread open like a two-bit hooker."
|Geigel blocks the ref's view while he goes for a tight right jab to Ellis's face.|
|Get your man in a corner.|
|Again, always, always, always take advantage of the ropes.|
|Geigel presses his hairy body to Ellis's and yanks back the Cowboy's|
curly hair at the same instant!
|The side headlock reminds me of dorm room horseplay. |
It just gets sexier the longer it is held.