Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Red Clashes with Green
Derrick Cole is not a merry old soul. He's a natural born heel, and in this auspicious debut (#441) he takes to the madhouse fervor of UCW like a duck to turducken. He squares off against six-foot-two Tyson Hammer, a three-year veteran of the cinder-block arena. Cole dismisses his first opponent as another bigmouth poser in need of a thrashing. More thickly built than most other fighters on the roster--good news for fans like me who like their roughnecks sturdy and robust--red hot Derrick looks and acts like the lovechild of Eli Black and Quinn Harper (he has their crazy eyes), and like his daddies before him he is hellbent on taking over--unless, that is, the Hammer takes him out first.
I have been on hiatus, so to speak, so it's been months since I last checked in on the wild boys at UCW. Yesterday I cracked open my small Christmas bonus to get a closer look at Derrick, who looked kinda hunky in the company's promo pics. And in this match he is, no mistake, hot as wildfire. Derrick is brash, aggressive, and as nasty a shit as a heel-lover like me could hope for. Since my last visit, UCW has lost no steam; just the opposite, it has pushed the limits of roughneck showmanship even further.
For the first 10 minutes (of 30 or so) Derrick and Tyson engage in give-and-take abuse, with Derrick taking the lead. Each dishes up a lot of hurt on the other, and like a number of wrestlers in the UCW stable, each appears to find even his own pain invigorating. At first Cole employs an array of pro and collegiate moves that suggest our recruit knows his stuff wrestling-wise. Then Tyson bites him. On the nipple. Welcome, rookie, to the tough-as-nails world of UCW, where the only rule is Don't Kill Anybody! (I'm only assuming Bodyslam and Axel have not yet tossed out this rule with the rest.)
Derrick smacks his lips and dives right into the rock-em-sock-em spirit of the place. He bites back. Not only that, he grinds Tyson's hand against the wall's jagged grain with his foot. Toe-twisting enters the UCW playbook too, along with by-now requisite ball-busting, gut-punching, and neck-wringing. UCW lovers, buckle up for a three-boner fight. And somebody tell Derrick Cole he's got a big old fan out here in TV land.
UCW, my friends, it's good to be home!