Saturday, July 9, 2016

Asses and Elbows

Axel vs Chase Michaels, #477 (UCW)

Against newcomer Chase Michaels, Axel is tougher, more masterful, frankly hotter, than I have ever seen him. Something or someone has put a fire in the man. He's dangerous. My nutsack is all but steaming at the end of this 27-minute rocket ride. And for the portion of this match when Axel is in charge, which is over half of it, the action's past competition; it's a beating. It's been years since Axel has delivered jolts like this--and it's not like I haven't been paying attention to the guy.

The two resemble each other in build: tall, lean, wiry, and pale, with jutting shoulder-blades and slim waists. As far as I can tell, off the mat they may have similar dispositions too. But there is nothing easy or laid-back about the way they latch onto each other for this championship-at-stake battle. Chase, the challenger, locks into Axel collar and elbow, drops him on his back, and starts firing knuckles into the champ's belly, full force. Then he pulls Axel up off the mat and slams him down again, for emphasis.

The new guy is looking good in his metallic tangerine trunks. He's focused, determined, and unforgiving in his attacks. He'll do anything to win. He pummels Axel's midsection with his shoulder again and again and again. Then he digs one knee into the champ's sternum and starts punching the guy's head. Chase tops it off with an arm bar, cracking Axel's elbow against his metallic tangerine boner, but the champ won't give. Head butts and stomps follow, but, as Axel soon points out, Chase makes one rookie mistake over and over. He lets his opponent back up. All that effort and all he's accomplished is to royally piss the champ off.

Seven minutes of rapid-fire give and take leads to Axel's taking full control. His force and viciousness are irresistible, bringing Chase a world of pain the challenger could not have imagined for himself. Axel owns every inch of the guy for six or so minutes of  brutally drawn-out punishment until Chase slams his elbow to Axel's temple. It's a bit more than just a lucky break, and Chase capitalizes on it, this time refusing to let Axel up for air.

But as the fighters wear themselves out, it all boils down to who has the more grit and perseverance. The final five minutes are intense, with Axel relentlessly tearing into his opponent but failing to submit him or stop him from fighting back. It's a time for raising welts and breaking into sweat, and it awakens the merciless brute in both of them. At one point Axel has Chase in perfect position for a pile-driver but decides that would be "too easy" a way to finish the guy. He opts for slow-grinding torture over a concussive blast of fury. It's prolonged and vicious fun, but it also gives Chase time to recoup for his lost momentum.

Chemistry ultimately determines who wins and who loses. A chloroform-soaked rag comes into play, and the winner uses both hands to press it down on his opponent's nose and mouth, while the helpless victim kicks and thrashes and moans. Maybe it takes a sadist to enjoy the way the signs of resistance diminish and the loser finally fades into unconsciousness. Well, then call me a sadist because I got off on every quivering and twitching second of it.


  1. I am interested in getting this match if Chase is the one who got put out at the end. Is there any way you can tell me about that?

    1. SPOILER ON REQUEST: Near the end of the match Chase grabs a rag and douses it with chloroform. He holds the rag to Axel's nose, but Axel escapes and reverses. Gaining possession of the rag, Axel presses it to Chase's face with both hands, snuffing out his challenger, who struggles frantically but then passes out as Axel holds him down.



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