Nero Angelo vs Kenny Star, 476 (UCW)
First of all, I thought Nero had already got his hands on Kenny. Maybe I just dreamed it. No, wait a minute, there was that four-way holiday match, along with Axel and Tyson the Hammer! I don't think I saw it, though. Second, why did it take UCW this long to throw these two on the mat together in singles competition? Star, one of the most grope-worthy wrestlers on the roster, and Angelo, Mister Magic Fingers himself!
Nero is pleased to hear that Kenny specially requested this match-up. He's briefly taken aback by Star's beautiful hairy chest and swimmer's build, but nevertheless feels invited to give the pecs a get-to-know-you grope. Kenny knees him in the balls, and the bell sounds. Out of nowhere, POW! It looks like Kenny is a whole lot tougher than his yearbook smile would suggest--and from the looks of things, he's no fan of Nero Angelo.
For four minutes Nero is forced to play Kenny's whipping boy, barely able to catch his breath between backbreaker and camel clutch and rear naked choke, each hold sustained tirelessly--10 seconds, 50 seconds, 75 seconds, respectively. Who knew that a guy who looks like the senior class president had this much grit? Apparently I did: This is perhaps the fifth time I've made the observation on this blog, but I forgot. Like Nero, I guess I am dazzled by the twinkle in this sado-puppy's eyes.
Then, for five minutes or so, Angelo delivers payback--and steals a bite of Star's bunny-nose pink nipple along the way. For me, wrestling IS sex, so I don't need the leering innuendo and salacious groping to get off. That sort of thing is often superfluous, sometimes distracting, but here it does not get in the way of my enjoyment of the match, probably because Nero and Kenny are damn good wrestlers and don't let the burlesque lessen the quality of the sweet give and take that follows. The rough stuff is strong enough that I don't get the sense (as I sometimes do in similar matches) of things being too cute.
In Nero Angelo's capable hands, the manhandling of Kenny Star is done right. And neither wrestler looks like he'd be satisfied with a cuddle and a hug, not when he can put some guy through the wringer instead.