Chloroformidable












Axel vs Austin Tyler, Match 599 - Chloroform Match (UCW)

One of these guys is knocked out for much of the contest, allowing the un-knocked-out guy plenty of time to torment him, only, being knocked out, the guy really doesn't feel the torment - not until he gets to watch the video, anyway. 

I can go along with the chloroform angle because it's sort of a pseudo-snuff situation and, at the movies, old ones especially, I used to get a kick (okay, maybe it was a hard-on) out of a guy, preferably shirtless, strangling another guy, preferably shirtless, to death ... or even just nearly to death. I'm thinking mostly Tarzan movies, come to think of it. 

Or the guy held the other guy underwater while the life seeped out of him, the thrashing and splashing slowly settling down with a bubble or two rising to the surface in the end.

As a character arc, though, Match 599 makes the case for Axel being squarely on the side of darkness these days. He attacks Austin at an unguarded moment - with a weapon, a chloroform-soaked rag. I suppose if I were directing this video, I would have tried to talk Axel out of wasting torturous attacks like arm bars and closed-fist punches while Tyler's not conscious enough to suffer properly - much less fight back. I can think of at least six things to do to Tyler when he's knocked out (or to Axel, for that matter):
  1. reach into the trunks and grope the man's junk
  2. dry-hump the heck out of him
  3. twist his body into amusing positions (childish, but so what)
  4. dry-hump the heck out of him (the other side and from another angle)
  5. take selfies that make it look like the two of us are boyfriends
  6. dry-hump the heck out of him in super slow motion
Nobody asked me, though. Lovers of the chloroform match ought not to miss this one since the wrestlers are well matched (or are when both are conscious) and both look hot in their gear. Fuddy-duddy that I am at times, my favorite parts of the match are the non-chloroform bits when there's a struggle between the two wrestlers (a struggle commonly known as wrestling). But, sure, like everybody, it's sweet to see a near-naked hunk in dreamless repose. And it's always interesting to see Axel take one more step towards utter darkness - though I still think he's better as a babyface hero, a role that perhaps Austin is beginning to usurp (especially if there's an aftermath to this match).


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