Hump Day

Tyson the Hammer vs Axel, Match 639 Hump Match, Lost Video (UCW)

Gentlemen, here are the rules, as succinctly dictated by future UCW Champion Tyson the Hammer to former UCW Champion Axel at some undisclosed point in the past:

"Ten humps win the  match. So the crotch, the butt, the face ..."

You get the idea. 

In Match 639 Axel challenges the then champion of humps to a match, following up on Match 594, during which  Tyson gave Max Ryder the hammering of his life. I think the hump match ranks among underground wrestling's chief contributions to the ancient Greeks' ritualized sodomizing of one's inferior, otherwise known simply as wrestling, the Greeks' favorite sport until at least the fourth century. 

(As the Greek word for wrestling was reportedly also a slang term for fucking, it's safe to assume many athletes took the sport further than Tyson and Axel intend to. That said, I love the elision in Wikipedia's take on the subject: "[S]hortly after the age of Homer, Greek athletes started to strip. It is not known why.")

In true UCW style, the match also consists of a lot of root-tugging to put one's adversary either out of or into action. 

Play safe, my friends, and enjoy!

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