Lightning Strikes

Johnny Lightning vs Beau Hopkins, Canadian Musclehunk Wrestling 4 (Can-Am)

"I know your type," he said. "The blond." This was in Savannah in the early '90s, when my friend and I were watching this opening match on VHS tape. I denied it at the time, thinking raven-haired Beau Hopkins was my type, but looking back, I see my friend was right. I may have thought the beefy Disney prince was handsome, but Johnny Lightning, the blond bad-boy, had all the sizzle.

Beau puts up a good fight, fair and square, but Johnny pulls hair, butts heads, cranks elbows, and cracks vertebrae. Babyfaces are nice, but it's the roughnecks who leave a mark. Lightning wasn't named Lightning for nothing. His strikes are sudden and unexpected, often counterintuitive. And I have to admit he fills those cream-yellow trunks beautifully. Beau is taller and heavier, qualities I'm still drawn to, but Johnny tears into him like a rabid dog.

Visit Can-Am here.