Heave-Ho

Nero Angelo vs Bruno, Match 750 - Strip Match (UCW)

Two big guys fighting is a crowd pleaser in every culture. The grunts are thunderous, the whole room quakes, the opulent flesh and muscle fill the vista, sweat pours in torrents. I love that greater numbers of heavy men are showing up on the rosters of underground wrestling promotions. Even if they lack the speed and finesse of the slim boys, their slow-motion upheavals add gravitas to the sport - whether on a mat, in a ring, in a sandpit, or in a steel cage. Flexing, throbbing meat in slow-motion collision cannot help but be eye-catching, even sexy.

Shot a couple of months ago, this 28-minute battle is, whatever else it might be called, a strip-your-opponent-buck-naked match. Nero and Bruno are well matched. Nero has the longer history in underground wrestling. He has developed a fight persona that is both intimidating and leering. He has accrued quite a fan base over the past five years. Bruno has (so far) a less defined persona, but his popularity is mounting, pretty impressive considering he's been at UCW for less than a year. He is an astounding grappler, perhaps best seen in this contest against Nero.

In the sixth GIF, Bruno strikes, then topples Angelo. The moment is a scale model of a 40-story hotel's demolition. There's a scary lot of control there. It's a key - not to mention HOT - moment in the match. The match's last half is sexier than the first, and the difference has less to do with the discarding of gear than with the sight of flushed, sweaty bodies colliding and collapsing, a spectacle enhanced by the camera angle. Whether you're "into" the contestants or not, to miss the grandeur of grunt'n'groan theater is to miss one of the universal pleasures of wrestling.

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