Balls

Van Skyler vs Hawk Rodman, Matmen 27 (BG East)

About 17 minutes into his match against Hawk Rodman, Van Skyler unforgettably punishes his cheating and all-round lowlife opponent with a combination chest-to-chest bear hug and a (hm, how to put it) vigorous crotch-to-crotch hammering. In a matter of seconds, Van delivers multiple pelvic thrusts (I estimate that number is 25) to Rodman's pelvis in retaliation for Hawk's previous heinous low blows to Skyler's jewels. Those seconds are now indelibly etched in my imagination. A more perfect (and exciting) punishment I cannot imagine. I played the episode four times before proceeding further, and Skyler's "pneumatic drill," as I have named it, now tops the list of my favorite corporal punishments. 

Some of you may remember that justice is a fetish of mine, second only to wrestling for no other goal but wrestling itself. Justice, a concept I don't actually believe in, has been a turn-on for me since boyhood, having watched countless movies in which Hercules, or Tarzan, or whoever at last faces his nemesis and gives the villain his long-awaited just deserts. In recent matches, Skyler seems to have embraced the role of Punisher, and I couldn't be happier. He has the strange beauty of an avenging angel and an ass right out of Greek mythology. For me, the crotch-to-crotch confrontation is the high point of the match, even though it occurs early, shortly after the halfway point.

Rodman, who is taller and heavier, has been pushing Skyler to the brink and then beyond, provoking this memorable reprisal that leaves Hawk whimpering and cupping his hand over his groin. Skyler is just getting started. He gets Rodman on all fours, facing away from him, and proceeds to kick him in the balls, refusing to stop till Hawk says, "I give, Master!" three times. He then lifts the man's head by a tuft of hair and presses him, nose first, into the bulge stretching Van's jockstrap. He flexes his muscles, commanding the "fucking psycho" (his words) to admire them. What happens next may be predictable, since we have six minutes remaining in the match and Skyler's midsection is right there, practically inviting further damage. Aaand Hawk is  a psycho, after all.

Whether Van or Hawk is the ultimate victor - fyi, the loser succumbs to a lengthy rear naked choke - matters less to me than the two or three minutes just described. It is the crux of the 26-minute battle and what I will always remember about this match. It is erotic and gratuitous and the stuff of dreams.

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