Deliver Us Some Evil

BG East is, hands down, the heel factory of underground wrestling. But I suppose everybody has his own definition of heel. Some take it to mean anybody who wins a wrestling match. Others, like me, take it to mean somebody who likes hurting his opponents a little too much (i.e. just the right amount). 

Variations are abundant, so much so that the term is becoming almost meaningless. For instance, in any given event is Jonny Firestorm a heel or a babyface? It's not so easy to fit him into a single category in one match, much less over a year's worth of matches. I see Jonny as a wiz at submission holds, as amoral as a machine - but I rarely sense that he gets off on other people's suffering.

Tastes as well as definitions differ, too. Below is my list of favorite BGE villains, but I dare say many of you will disagree with my choices. You're wrong, of course, hahaha, but I would be interested in hearing your picks and your reasons for them. Here are mine:

Kid Vicious 

My first attempt at describing Kid Vicious is better than anything I can come up with right now. In it I said, poetically, "This guy will knee you in the nuts while sticking his tongue down your throat." That translates as "the guy is the epitome of sexy heel." He's tough and he's cruel, and it all gets him almost as hard as it gets his victims. KV could teach Jobe Zander and Jarret Cole a thing or two about raunchy wrestling - he's already kicked both their asses.

Dick the Prick 

Besides the genius name, Dick has loads of attitude and a grim take on sportsmanlike competition. He's one of my first crushes at BG East. His brooding good looks and sharp tongue make other wrestlers want to beat him up. Often they succeed, but not before Dick has his way with them, exploring their physiques with his wandering tongue, then, in a flash, pelting them with closed-fist punches. With Dick, you can never tell what he wants more - to bang or bash his opponent.

Joshua Goodman

Joshua Goodman's heel persona seems less like a gimmick than like something encoded in his DNA. A more naturalistic villain you'll find nowhere. His villainy is minimalist and offhanded in that, unlike many other heels, he isn't over the top, but loose and debonair. I'd almost say he violates my definition of heel  except for his undisguised delight in pulverizing babyfaces. He's had his ass kicked a few times, as well. Winning or losing, he astounds.

Blaze 

His stay at BG East was short, a mere five releases, but six-two Blaze made a big impression on me. He embodies "cool" - from his Cesar Romero stache and smooth muscles to the way he swats away the attacks of muscle dudes like Mike Columbo, Justin Pierce, and Joshua Goodman as if they were sand flies. Maybe he should "sell" the drama better, or maybe he is so aloof and seemingly impervious that he can treat opponents as if they are props at a photo shoot.

Aryx Quinn

One part clown prince of the ring, one part tasty porn boy, Aryx is the trickster Loki, who enjoys mocking his opponents as much as he enjoys hurting them. His long run has seen wins and losses - the wins outnumbering the losses (I think) - but he's best remembered for the mind games he subjects his opponents to. He has elements of the cowardly heel on top of being a constant liar and cheat. He is more than the sum of his bulges, though his bulges are enchanting.

Cole Cassidy 

Cole's style is straight out of gangster movies and spaghetti westerns. I sometimes think he doesn't care whether he wins or loses his matches so long as his opponents leave the ring limping. That's the heel spirit I'm most in awe of - the willingness to destroy oneself if it means the other guy leaves the ring with a few welts and bruises to remember him by. Cole has a rattlesnake's heart and a shark's appetite. His heel style is unlike any other wrestler's.

Jonah Richards

Twinks can be heels, too. Jonah may look like Bambi, but he has a cruel streak a mile long. His sexy-playful style of destroying the competition is a template all present and future twink-heels should study and follow. The kid loves roughhouse almost as much as he loves showing off. His principal facial expression is undisguised desire, and I don't recall a single one of his matches that isn't ultimately about s-e-x. And my oh my, how Jonah loves to tease and torment!

Paul Hudson 

Paul is the reason I don't include evil as part of my definition of heels. I don't think Paul is ever evil exactly or vain or cowardly or overly ambitious. These are characteristics I like in a heel, but I think Paul is a heel because he loves the hell out of hurting his opponents, hurting them real bad, hurting them till he strips them of their last shred of dignity and self-confidence. Quibblers might say that's because he's a cage fighter at heart, but I think Paul takes his love of fighting beyond the pale.

Kid Karisma 

Kid K's exuberance makes him likable, though likability is not a trait often associated with heels. He enjoys messing with opponents' heads as well as their bodies - and, more than anybody else on the BGE roster, he's able to work himself up into a berserker-like frenzy that makes his matches not only dramatically captivating but also seemingly perilous. Karisma on the mats or in the ring is like a tornado.

Dev Michaels 

All Dev lacks are glowing dorsal fins, radioactive breath, and a scale model of Tokyo to be a legitimate kaiju.  He's not BGE's biggest wrestler, but everything about his powerful physique and attitude suggests a rampaging primordial beast, all the more so when The Boss sics him on smaller guys like Kip Sorell and Lucky Loko, bits of whom he's picking from between his teeth by match's end.

Guido Genatto 

Controversial and at times outright barbaric, Guido does MEAN like nobody else in the history of anything. Whether calling a self-described trophy boy a "queen" or bashing Kimber Lee's head with a metal chair, Genatto knows how to raise an audience's hackles. He's an old-school villain who may be living in the wrong decade for this kind of rawness - too much like real life in 2018 - but scary heels like him remind me of my golden years.

Lane Hartley 

The best evidence of this guy's clout as an ultra-heel is that Brad Rochelle once remarked that he'd like to "slap Lane Hartley in a rear naked choke," adding, "He has a smirk in his Catalog 100 pic that makes me want to hurt him." You don't get that kind of attention from Brad unless you're both easy on the eyes and a primo bad-ass in the squared circle. Lane is both - and then some. Ridiculously handsome, vain, smug, and cruel, Lane is one of the finest heels in underground wrestling history.

Kelly King 

My friend recently remarked that Kelly is "wonderful in a way that sort of defines Texas." Born in Hill County (southwest of Dallas), King looks and sometimes acts like an aw-shucks babyface. He may in fact not be so much a heel as as an especially rowdy roughneck. That he likes kicking ass as much as he does is what makes him a heel by my definition. Bigger than most of his opponents, Kelly is fun to watch but daunting when he's grinning at you from the opposite corner.

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