Spoilers

The Strange Bedfellows vs The Super Bad Contenders, Time for Heroes - 24 March 2018, London (Unprofessional Wrestling)

If you don't want spoilers, click on the link above and watch the match before reading further. As my title indicates, the bulk of this post concerns the way this match plays out in the end.

Tbe Super Bad Contenders (Kip Sabian, 5'11", 180#, and Kurtis Chapman, 5'4", 125#) get their butts spanked by impromptu tag partners The Strange Bedfellows (Cara Noir, 6', 198#, and Jack Sexsmith, 5'10", 169#). My initial response to the jokey contest was not positive, but by the midpoint, the ebullient Jack Sexsmith and oviparous* Cara Noir won me over. I had mainly tuned in for the villainous Kip Sabian, hands down the prettiest boy in British wrestling, and braced myself for the silliness. In a matter of minutes, Noir charmed me with his uncanny swan gimmick and muscular body, and he and the devious Sabian set the match's escalating pace.

The last six minutes, condensed below in eight GIFs, is dazzling and tumultuous  ... and sensual, more arousing than half of gay underground wrestling, and in the end it is even sweep-you-off-your-feet romantic (that lovely coda, starting at the 19:55 mark) . Academia, of course, has prepared me to deconstruct the match's homosexual subtext - from Cara's Natalie Portman Black Swan  makeup to his tongue action up Chapman's trunks to Sabian's eye sockets ... and an unusual amount of time is spent in endeavors that require a crotch against somebody's tush. No wonder the match turns me on.

At first, Sabian finds Sexsmith easy to manipulate.

With Chapman's help, Sabian headbutts Sexsmith in the ribs, but ...

Sexsmith cleans the SBC's collective clocks.

Then Cara Noir slithers in to give Kurtis and Kip a good wet licking.

Sexsmith blows Kip a kiss.

A snappy shoulder neckbreaker is not the end of Sabian's troubles. 

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Sabian steals a water bottle from a fan and brings it into the ring, up to no good. Cara Noir appropriates it and spits down his throat, tearing a page from Kip's own playbook. Manually forcing a person's mouth open is an erotically charged action, especially when both persons are scantily dressed.

The evil Kip gets most of the punishment in the end - succinctly and deservedly dispensed.

* Check the 10:50 mark on the YouTube video linked above.