Meat and Potatoes













Cybertron vs Austin Cooper, Hunkbash 20 (BG East)

It's a hunkbash, so you know Coop is gonna get it. Austin is widely popular at a number of different sites, where he plays the bad guy as well as he plays the clean-cut hunk, shifting between roles with no noticeable damage to his public image. He's one of the most likable guys in wrestling; I say that with conviction though I have never met the guy. Just when I think he is oversaturating the market, he wows me in a new video and I wonder what underground wrestling would be without him. Here he is splendid as the target of Cybertron's silent fury - and he looks terrific even as the masked villain tears him limb from limb.

The match is part of the soon-to-be-released Catalog 135. It's standard-issue stuff, but I'm the kind of fan who usually likes the basics more than the extra-fancy or exotic. I don't need elaborate setups and fantastical challenges to enjoy a fight. I just need muscles twitching and slamming into opposite muscle and a lot of grunts and groans. The more a match is like the meat-and-potatoes fights before the attitude era, the more I like it.

Cybertron emerges literally from the shadows to square off against up-for-anything Coop. The wrestlers wordlessly lock up, and within seconds Cybertron drives his knee into Austin's midsection, knocking the breath out of him. He waits, savoring that moment, before slamming the gold-trunked jobber forehead-first to all four turnbuckles by turns. Cybertron's noiseless attacks are eerie. The music of Austin's agony suffices as the match's only soundtrack. The heel has Coop bouncing off the ropes and the mat, looking miserable.

Claw-holds to the pecs, forearm-scrapes across the eyes, old-school punches to the mouth, elbow-digs to the ribs, such are the tortures and indignities Austin is subjected to, while Cybertron's trapezius muscles begin to shine like patent leather. Don't hold your breath for a hope spot, folks. Coop's last conscious minutes consist of Cybertron's fists drumming against his chest before the heel body-slams him to the center of the ring for a three-count. The loser is pummeled to unconsciousness. A few more abuses follow, but Austin is no condition to feel them, much less retaliate.


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Comments

  1. I love Austin's gear for this match. It may be my favorite look of his. Knowing he'll be squashed makes this match even more enticing.

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