Ding-Dong

Aaron Lopez  vs TJ Reks, Oh No, Low Blows! (Cyberfights)

The standout feature of this 20-minute video from January is Aaron's and TJ's physiques. I especially like the bounce of TJ's pecs. His whole body, in fact, is spunky as heck. Aaron's salty caramel tan is utterly lickable.  He and TJ look like posing-strap models from the heyday of physique photography - clean-cut looks and up-for-almost-anything attitude. For me, muscles were the draw to this match, which is as simplistic as its title would suggest.

The whole blow-for-blow angle is played for laughs. Aaron and TJ trade forearm smashes to the balls as interruptions to muscle posing. (I would have thought they could figure this out and quit posing - even if only to spare their family jewels.) The sells are comedic. Reks all but crosses his eyes as he collapses towards the camera. And recovery from the gonadal trauma is Looney-Tunes speedy. The trade-off punches are nothing like a serious contest, but, as noted, there are those delicious bodies to consider.

The non-gnard-related tactics can be counted on the fingers of one hand. The fine meat on display makes a case for using the fingers in activities other than counting, though. After a dozen or so repetitions of its main motif, the match resolves itself with a choke-out finish, played more as a punchline than a conquest, but still pretty great.

Visit Cyberfights at Can-Am's Rope Mall here.