Torpedo / Tornado

Tommy Tornado and Tommy Torpedo (Team Turbulence) vs Janni Jarruk and Zacharias Falk (Party Patrol), NEW Snakepit 2019 - 7 September 2019,  (New European Wrestling)

Team Turbulence is a comedic jobber heel tag team based in Germany that I am crazy for. Obviously I suffer from cognitive dissonance on this one, being anything but a fan of slapstick wrestling or the kind of choreographed pratfalls Turbulence performs again and again. It's silly and demeaning, but Tommy Tornado and Tommy Torpedo are hot, both six-foot-one around 200 pounds, and cute as Hummels, albeit mischievous Hummels. My mind often tolerates logical contradictions at my dick's command.

I've previously preferred Tornado, but lately Torpedo (the one with facial hair) is drawing more of my attention, but no sooner do I declare Torpedo my new favorite than all of Tornado's fine qualities cloud my judgment. The truth is that, if they were purchasable as figurines, I would have to buy them as a set. They are immensely likable. Smooth bodied in cranberry-red trunks that fit their asses like surgical gloves. The Austrians, trained by Alex Wright (Das Wunderkind) in Germany and fellow Austrians Mexx and Chris Raaber, are sex on a stick. I want to lock them in a hotel suite and do unspeakable things to them.

The match in question is a Loser Leaves NEW match. Given their classification as jobbers that crowds love to see throttled, the outlook is bleak for Team Turbulence. The opposition, Party Patrol, is a scruffy team of trolls that German fans prefer. On the plus side for Torpedo and Tornado, Jarruk and Falk are jobbers, too. I'll not spoil the match for those interested in watching it - beginning 33 minutes into this YouTube video. Torpedo and Tornado contribute to a 30-man royal rumble at the end of the show, around minute 28 here.

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