Divided by Two











Kurt Fletcher vs Spencer Hawkins vs Joey McCoy, Catalog 18 - Balls to the Wall (MuscleBoy Wrestling)

The last GIF takes place 14 minutes before the match ends. I mention this in order to emphasize that however wild and hairy the match seems to be, things get wilder and hairier before it is over. You back up 17 minutes, and we're looking at Kurt Fletcher working out as Spencer Hawkins walks up and gets in his face, saying, "I'm here to win it all, and you're not going to stop me. No one here is going to stop me." A push-up contest turns to pushing and shoving, and a couple of bitch slaps later, Spencer gets the fight he was hungry for. Fletcher has Hawkins up against the turnbuckle when Joey McCoy climbs into the ring. "Hey hey hey hey, I'm here too," he announces. "This is my match too." The intruder is as cute as anybody can be without being an actual puppy. Immediately Kurt turns his wrath against Joey. Spencer joins in, and the situation is what we see excerpted above - up to the point when Joey turns the tables on the big bullies.

A couple of things worth mentioning - one, Spencer's phrase "win it all" begs the question of what exactly will he or anybody be winning here and, two, Joey (I mean, who wouldn't like to see this guy with a big fluffy bow around his neck?) might have done himself a favor had he waited until Spencer and Kurt exhausted themselves against each other. These remarks are neither here nor there, especially since the whole dynamic of the match changes after the events GIFfed above. My one and only point is  this is a fun match with multiple personality conflicts, full of wicked turns, and the less said about them the more you'll enjoy the contest when you see it. Surprise is everything. The guys wear primary colors - Kurt in red, Spencer in blue, and little Joey in yellow - which make it easy to distinguish the competitors and follow the crazy-ass antics. The comic elements do not compromise the high level of give and take or the wrestlers' roughhouse energy.

This is Joey's ninth MBW match, making him the most experienced of the three fighters. His bravura is tempered with innocence, which largely explains his sunny charm, and while Kurt and Spencer throw everything they have against him, the plucky kid is quick to jump back to his feet. What happens next is not at all what I was expecting, which is fantastic since I was beginning to ho-hum the whole thing because of its predictability. I was (and am) happy to be proved mistaken on that point.

Here's a short list things that are possibly cuter than Joey McCoy: a duckling with hiccups, a crop circle shaped like Hello Kitty, a yodeling cupcake.


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