Hard Pressed

Kirk Donahue vs Ethan Axel Andrews, Florida Fights 9 (BG East)

The catalog description reads, "Yes: this match. Kirk Donahue versus Ethan Axel Andrews. That's it. That's the match. I mean, what more do you need?" Yes, indeed. Really no further description is needed for fans of Kirk and Ethan, yet the catalog bows to tradition and adds five or six more descriptive paragraphs to pique customers' interest. Your friend and mine, Dr. L, effused almost a month ago (having acquired an early preview of the match): "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes. And then oh yes again."

For some time now Andrews and Donahue have been shedding their babyface trappings to don the more studly role of heel. This showdown was inevitable - a face-off in the BGE ring to decide who has the cojones to be the baddest bad-ass in town.

The video opens with Ethan shadowboxing at lightning speed. When he spots Kirk approaching the ring, he smirks for a fraction of a second and drives his fist into the air, no doubt imagining Kirk's nose as the target. "Well well well, who do we have here?" Kirk drawls while climbing through the ropes. "I've been looking ... forward ... to this," Ethan replies, all crooked smiles and spat-out consonants. He thinks - or pretends to think - Kirk is the "jobber extraordinaire" the freckled Michigander has played at BG East for five years or so.

Ethan extends his hand for a "gentleman's handshake." Being no gentleman nowadays, Kirk shoves the toe of his boot to Ethan's midsection then pummels him facedown to the mat with fourteen spitfire punches and continues to stomp the writhing body like he's trying to kill a copperhead. The rousing start sets the tone for the rest of the 31-minute brawl. Already Kirk's tumefied cock is inching upwards to his waistband. It doesn't take long for Ethan to start firing back and savoring every second of Kirk's agony.

For a while, both wrestlers play towards the center of the ring, demonstrating their submission wrestling skills and maximizing the body contact as brutally as they know how. They use the ropes and turnbuckles as braces as they grind their boots into each other's flesh. The misery on their faces looks like nothing so much as authenticity. While highly stylized in the manner of pro wrestling, the spirit of the battle is that of two bad boys fighting out back of the bar.

Ethan takes an early lead, but five or six minutes later Kirk regains control, briefly. Andrews strikes back with three times the force, three times the malice, busting balls and twisting fingers, exacting pain that reaches to the curly tips of Donahue's fancy handlebar stache. The tables turn when the match reaches its midpoint - almost to the second. Kirk slams Ethan to the mat like he's beating a rug. Then three or so hard minutes later, Ethan's boss-man again. The back and forth is noisy and frenzied. With seven minutes remaining, Kirk unravels his wrist tape to strangle Ethan with (fourth shot above). It's a moment of exquisite villainy that both fighters play to the max, carrying the battle to the final knockout. 

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