A Cowpoke's Picnic

Kelly King vs Lane Hartley, Pros in Private 13 (BG East)

All three are must-sees, but the middle match of Pros in Private 13 is my favorite. How could it not be with Kelly King and Lane Hartley in a Texas-vs-Russia fight? My God! these two are appetizing slabs of manly protein, noisier and slipperier the more riled up they get.

The match type invites intemperate rage. The winner must pin, submit, and  knock out his opponent - all three, or the match is void. This is Lane before he grew a beard, gave up haircuts, and swole big as a refrigerator. Here he is in his suave period, with an arrogant smile that made Brad Rochelle want to slap him in a rear naked choke seven years ago. Back then, just looking at Hartley made men want to knock him out.

You don't get more cowboy than Kelly King. Nobody epitomizes Southwest wrestling style more than he does, and even in his kid-friendly indie matches, he exudes sex appeal. Like most Southern big-boy wrestlers, his biggest influences as a wrestler are football and rodeo. Kicks and calf-roper binds are specialties, along with a prickly disposition and the durability of a Ford pickup. A sadist as only a Southern Baptist can be, Kelly targets Lane's knees and shins for punishment.

This style is the grand opera of pro wrestling. No circus hijinks, no sequins, no bleach bond hair, just a mesh of mat wrestling and high kicks and sweat and spleen.

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