A Classic I-Fucked-Your-Mother/Sister Fight

Ethan Axel Andrews vs Cody Blayde, Ringwars 33 (BG East)

Cody thinks that Ethan lacks the flamboyance required to make it in the pro ring, Cody is super-flashy - from his persimmon-streaked blond hair to his Bonaduce-inspired line delivery. "I'm pretty, pretty satisfied with my hair," Ethan declares in his own defense. "When you go back to your house can you get my underwear back from your mom's bed?" Cody retorts, 100% class (8th grade, to be specific). In turn, Ethan insinuates that he might have stuck his dick into Cody's sister. The opponents' adorableness and cockiness keep matters light. Ethan cuts the introductions short with a side headlock on Cody's fruitopian locks.

Circus antics follow, performed with snap and panache. The two exchange holds for the next 20 minutes with Ethan gaining more control minute by minute. In the last nine minutes one man stands out as the boss of the ring, and the other, just a wheezing wrestling dummy lucky to be alive. The exchanges are rough and fast, with purely G-rated assaults and nothing to suggest that the match is aimed at a gay and bi audience. (This is not a complaint, just an observation. Often when wrestlers do play up to gay fans, the results are a little embarrassing.)

Ethan and Cody are well matched in size and build. After so much talk of hair in the opening exchange, I would have liked more hair pulling. This is a classic opening match, low key but brisk, as fitting for a live show as it is for a BG East disc. Cody's punk eccentricity plays nicely off Ethan's boy-next-door-ness. At times, particularly at the beginning, the action is short of the intensity I like, but the bodies are young and beautiful, and when have I ever complained about that?

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