Rocky Road

Jimmy Dean vs Rocky James, Canadian MuscleHunk Wrestling 5 (Can-Am)

This is my favorite Jimmy Dean match. Technically he probably has better ones, but I like this one best. For one thing this is the slim yet wiry Jimmy Dean I first knew, before he got thick, pierced, and inked. Later he would use props against his sex slaves, but here his torments are all corporeal - stomps, hairpulling, scratching, low blows, and smackdowns. Rocky James, an apparently ill-suited adversary for Dean, is another reason this match is my favorite.

Rocky was a dancer, not a wrestler. This is his first and I think only ring match. He was three years older than Jimmy, a couple of inches shorter, 15 pounds heavier, and apparently untrained. Why is all this great? What appeals to me about this match is that physically Rocky, with his low center of gravity, is extremely difficult for Jimmy to manage. Does Jimmy get discouraged? No way. We get the can-do Jimmy Dean in this match. He has to work hard to maneuver around James's bulk, and it is the messiness of the manhandling that makes it sexy. (It doesn't hurt that, like Jimmy, Rocky gives me a boner, all on his own.)

This is one of only a handful of matches I can replay in my head, almost move for move. Jimmy heaving Rocky up, grunting and grimacing, and brutally slamming him to the mat. Jimmy raking Rocky's face across the top rope - it doesn't work out so well the first try, so he returns to this tactic towards the end of the match. Jimmy straining - quite obviously overwhelmed - to roll Rocky over. When Rocky gets his hope spot (at last!), Jimmy cuts it short with a blow to the balls. Even Rocky's long hair proves to be an obstacle to circumvent.

As flawed as this match might be to other people's eyes, I can't think of a thing I would change about it. The chemistry between Jimmy and Rocky - far from easy and further still from the expected - is the best of Jimmy's career - or at least what I've seen of it. Jimmy as a frustrated heel who must navigate physical obstacles to annihilate his babyface is supremely watchable, and the butt cheeks on both these hunks are to die for.

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