Thighs-Wise

Brad Barnes vs Kip Sorell, The Science of Scissors 2 (BG East)

One look at the photo on BG East, and I sighed, "Oh baby." Brad and Kip alike take my breath away. I'm torn between Kip Sorell's sly Mediterranean smile and Brad Barnes's engulfing eyes. Both are so far out of my league as to belong to a different species. But an old man can dream, can't he? Besides, in recent videos Brad and Kip have demonstrated higher levels of pluck, only hinted at in their earliest matches. They're of the same height, too, though Brad has layers of muscle over Kip. 

An opening shot of the bulge in Kip's trunks proves once again that BGE knows its fanbase. Then without even the pretense of tilting up to the face, the camera pans left to Brad's crotch, towards which the silver, white, and blue of his trunks direct the viewer's eye, the coronal ridge as vivid as bas-relief. Such gorgeousness in one ring, bent on destroying the other, makes my heart race. It takes the cameraman a minute and a half to realize these men have faces, too. The two discuss the value of squats. Okay, so it's not a panel discussion of Mahler's chromatic chord progressions - but just look at these guys!  Besides, squats relate to the story.

At first, the two "practice" head scissors. When Kip oversells the strength of his "chicken legs," Brad goes from amused to worried to vengeful. The switch from fun-loving to ass-kicking occurs gradually, but the growing intensity is palpable even from the vantage of an onlooker. It's clear these two have advanced from the woodenness of their earliest matches. These guys know scissor holds the way Popeyes knows chicken. It's only in the last five (of 28) minutes of the match that the battle cuts loose and gets wild, but that leap is awesome to behold, and it remains true to the scissors theme all the way to the dick-thickening figure-four choke-out finisher.

Visit BG East here.