Undagear 33


The Undagear series has a distinguished history, first budding with wrestlers like Kurt Eriksen, Shane McCall, and Casey Cutler on the mat and now reaching full bloom at number 33 with fan favorites like Ben Monaco, Austin Cooper, and Ash DeLeon. In the intervening years, underwear wrestling advanced with highly esteemed mat-room grapplers like Justin Pierce, Jonah Richards, and Jake Jenkins, the black-and-bluejays. I like the underwear angle, but I mostly like the good mat wrestling the series has consistently produced.




Hawk Rodman vs Ben Monaco, Undagear 33 (BG East)

Undagear 33  focuses on three themes: jealousy,  pride, and  cruelty, in that order, but not always exclusive of each other. As the catalog description notes, Ben and Hawk started at BGE about the same time, but Ben's bookings far outnumber Hawk's. Some degree of jealousy is bound to take root in the mind of a BGE wrestler who feels his career has been blocked by another wrestler.

Hawk opens by expressing outright his resentment: "I'm pissed off with you, y'know? ... With you getting all the matches, all the attention at BG East." He lands a few casual but annoying jabs, ready to start something. Rubbing salt into the wounds, Ben responds, "Well, when you got talent ...." As if to reinforce the point, Monaco calls for the contest to begin and quickly gets Rodman's back to the mat.

Ben is built more thickly than Hawk, so he can rely on his weight to hold Hawk in place. But Hawk is a wiry grappler, quick to even the score. Hawk dominates his man with scissor holds and head locks up to the 32-minute fight's first half, at which point the singlets are pulled down to the waist and bodies show the first signs of sweat on the shoulders and chests. The question is whether his jealousy will blind  Rodman and throw the win to Monaco. By the end, the two are stripped to their cotton undergear, and lust, not jealousy, prevails.





Austin Cooper vs Calvin Haynes, Undagear 33 (BG East)

Calvin plays the eager fan upon meeting Austin. Austin is mildly amused, but the mercurial veteran has forever felt that no amount of flattery is enough for him. Austin talks fast, makes piercing eye contact, and pretends to listen intently but unsmilingly - kind of like Tom Cruise when he's feeling edgy but oh so full of himself. The pretense of earnest attention to their fans' nervous blather is a skill all superstars acquire, I suppose.

When Calvin flubs some tryout escapes from the referee's position, Austin stands back and laughs, saying, "I feel really bad for you. Since you're a fan - rightfully so - I will go ahead and help you out a little bit." Predictably, the "help" takes the form of a badgering sort of assault, with Coop freely ignoring the rules of fair play with one illegal move after another. It takes a few minutes, but Calvin eventually figures out his idol is out to destroy him.

He takes a severe beating, but Haynes catches a break when Coop's inflated ego leads him to let the fanboy put him in a full nelson. For every hint of competence that Calvin shows - and the man does know how to wrestle - Austin's tender self-esteem leads him to strike back with four or five times the force. With barely three minutes left in the 29-minute match, Calvin feels cocksure, going so far as to boast to his former hero, "You're done. Yeah. I promise you. C'm'ere." It's an unexpected moment of mannish boldness that puts a little steel in my dick, seconds before the two lock horns again.




Ash DeLeon vs Lance Jackson, Undagear 33 (BG East)

Ash DeLeon's smile is cruel and almost perpetual, withstanding even great violence. Newcomer Lance tries to front by claiming that Ash has been avoiding him, when, in fact, Ash has been in the mat room waiting for him - I'm tempted to add "like a spider in its web." Lance's pretense fails as DeLeon gets Jackson in a side headlock and lands him on the mat like a cowboy roping a steer. Ash's face remains placid, cool under duress. The past couple of years have revealed DeLeon's sadistic side. The man seldom blinks. He's like a machine programmed to hurt people.

Ash commandeers Lance for the next couple of minutes, digging his knee to the challenger's crotch, pinching the guy's nipple, savoring the man's discomfort and humiliation. Positions reversed, Lance pummels Ash's gut with his fist, succeeding only to stir up DeLeon's killer instincts. Ash repays with a clawhold to the stomach, but it turns out that the rookie poses a bigger threat than anybody anticipated.

Rigorous and deadly serious grappling takes up about two-thirds of the 32-minute match. The needling torments serve both to bully the opponent and turn the man's upper body and impressive bulge towards the camera lens. Ash seemingly enjoys amping up the hurts, testing the limits of Lance's durability, and he doesn't mind biding his time to apply just the right clutch. Jackson fights to win, but DeLeon likes to play with an opponent the way a cat likes to toy with a crippled mouse.


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