Hard Candy

Kirk Donahue vs Cody Blayde, Ringwars 34 (BG East)

Cody definitely looks like Tiger Beat material. The magazine no longer exists - I checked - but the covers of newly pubescent pop stars, boy bands, and TV stars used to tempt me to peek inside. I never did, seriously never, possibly because no matter how tasty the sweets looked on the cover, I couldn't gaze at them for long without hallucinating about Gerber products and baby shampoo. Cody may already be too adult to be a teen heartthrob, but his boyish looks are remarkably intact.

Kirk is equally boyish and full-grown, that seesaw period that begins around age twenty-five and doesn't end, if you're lucky, until sometime in your forties. His heart, though, seems to belong to the Belle Epoque - or maybe it's just the mustache. My friend Dr. L has a crush on him. I do, too, I suppose, though there's something remote and secluded about him that's unwelcoming. It's that shadowy side of him he has chosen to emphasize lately as he's dipped his toe into heeldom. 

The matchup of Donahue and Blayde in Ringwars 34 is near-perfect. Ostensibly, Donahue's the heel, and Blayde's the babyface, but they both put up a fine, cold-blooded fight. They fight to win. More to the point, they fight dirty to win. They combine elements of catfight - scratching at the eyes and pulling hair - and flickers of attitude wrestling from the 1990s. There's good sweat to be seen here, too, along with the sheen of trunks that cling to asses like a plastic bag from the dry cleaners.

It may be only my imagination, but these two seem like they really want to mess each other up but good. Both of them have the skills to work a ring and an adversary for all they're worth.

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