Wicked Heartthrobs

Team Turbulence vs Italian Attitude, NEW Internet Wars 2018 (NEW European Championship Wrestling)

I'm ready to flat-out admit that my affection for the Tommies is more for their bounce and jiggle than for their crazy-ass antics. Replace them with sorry-looking fatsos and I would not be the least bit impresssed. Sorry-looking fatsos redeem themselves by fighting messy, like their lives depended on it. Ninety-nine percent of Turbulence's strategy is silly Saturday-morning cartoon stuff, but those bodies - geez, loo-eez - get me all fired up and woodsy.

As I have said before, I have no favorites between Tommy Torpedo and Tommy Tornado. My heart belongs to one until I catch sight of the other. If I married one of them, I would have to marry them both. Their opponents, Chris Steel and Flavio Augusto (Italian Attitude), play the straight men (perhaps in more than one sense) against the excitable and synchronized Tommies. Torpedo and Tornado win the match with a collaborative powerbomb neckbreaker on Steel (sixth GIF), but they don't stop there. They attack Steel and Augusto while they're down. Ultimately, Attitude's pals Party Patrol kick Turbulence out of the ring. The crowd cheers, but pouty Torpedo and Tornado protest that fans should applaud them as the true winners of the match (last GIF).

Yeah, I can't help myself. I love these guys.

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