Hurt

John Magnum vs Phillip Aubrey (Naked Kombat)

Shoot matches like this one see fighters clutch and jerk and slam each other around fiercely. A guy can get hurt that way. This 2010 Naked Kombat match gets stopped twice due to minor injuries suffered by John Magnum in the sixth GIF and then Phillip Aubrey in the eighth. Wrestling gets sexier the realer it gets, and these two athletes get mighty real.

I've always loved the sadomasochistic theatrics of professional wrestling, especially when the aggression and pain are sold in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. Real hurt, though, tends to be subtler. Maybe this is not the most sensitive thing to say, but I kinda like it when the wrestler's hurt is real. Things turn outer-space quiet for a few seconds. It's almost like the air has been sucked out of the room.

The frisson I feel in these moments is hard to describe. For me, it's accentuated by the knowledge that I've just been turned on by somebody else's pain. It's an ecstasy mixed with shame. I feel bad for the victim, but exhilarated, too. In turn, I am intensely aware of the narrow limits of my humanity. If the victim's misery lasts for more than a minute, the feeling gets worse, as if my ribs collapsed on my lungs.

I'm afraid of heights. The moment I'm describing feels a lot like the vertigo I experience looking down from a height. A little dizzy, and queasily aware of the body's vulnerability. I'm on the precipice of potential tragedy, but all is well so long as the tragedy is quickly extinguished. John and Phillip get up and signal that they're ready to resume the fight. I feel slightly less evil for enjoying the drama and truth of the moment. I'm thus only a small monster, a realization that is both comforting and chilling.

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