Dead Giveaway

Braden Charron vs Brad Barnes, Hunkbash 23 (BG East)

Braden and Brad have shared the BGE ring before, but this is the first time they have faced each other one on one. I'm a sucker for Brad's puppy-dog eyes, offsetting his square jawline and high and tight haircut. His torso and thighs are the stuff of daydreams and Roman statuary. Braden is like Brad, only double-stacked, with eyes that flicker between friendly and threatening. He encourages Brad to continue his posing, but BGE regulars recognize the setup and know it spells trouble. 

Braden dares Brad to pick him up. Brad scoops him up across his shoulders, gently as if Charron were fragile goods. When it's Braden's turn to pick Brad up, it's like lifting a pillow - he makes it look effortless because it is  effortless - but Brad gets no soft landing. Braden slams him to the ring floor and repeatedly stomps on him. My point is ... it doesn't take BGE heels long to show their true colors. After forcibly introducing Brad to the turnbuckles, he heaves the kid across his shoulders - ungently - for a backbreaker, gaining the match's first fall, by submission.

For me and a lot of other fans, a hunkbash is an opportunity to ogle the hunk. The holds and attacks give fans at home a view of Barnes from every angle, from his toes to the top of his head. I know I'm not alone in delighting in every joggle of Brad's pectoral and gluteal muscle. This is not wrestling, though; it's modeling - the way Marie Osmond shows off dolls in tulle on QVC. We get Brad's pecs, shoulders, abs, and boyishly handsome face shoved toward the camera. For wrestling, watch a heel-vs-heel match or visit the mat room or the BGE Wrestleshack.

Getting bashed certifies hunk-ness at BG East. It's essentially an honor to be bashed. Losing a hunkbash match is like making the honor roll. The job of the heel, in this case Braden Charron (the brawnier hunk), is to showcase the babyface, in this case Brad Barnes (and, oh, those baby-blue trunks are a dead giveaway). 

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