The Romantic Touch

Matt Taven vs The Romantic Touch, ROH Champions Vs. All Stars (Ring of Honor)

Find someone who looks at you the way Matt Taven looks at Scarlett Bordeaux at the end of this 2014 match in Kalamazoo. 

I'm celebrating Valentine's, Ringside style. I hold that there's nothing sexier than two men fighting over a woman, except two men fighting over a man. Regrettably for my team, it's the former in this conventional ring match that heats up in the last five minutes. 

Either way, though, fighting over somebody you desire sums up my aggrosexuality. Luckily for me and my team, the two meaty opponents - Taven in red trunks and The Romantic Touch (aka Rhett Titus) in baby oil - step up the third act of this love triangle.

It's in the final moments that bodies start banging the ring floor like a tom-tom. Both men are big and well muscled, and among the things that professional wrestling has that folk-style mat wrestling does not have are body slams, dropkicks, turnbuckle beatdowns, and teeth-rattling southpaw punches.

So enjoy the holiday. Plan a candlelit tussle for this evening. Get sweaty. Leap off the corner ropes. Pin your valentine to the mat and show him you're the alpha he wants you to be. While you're at it, rip that mask off his face with your teeth.