This Ends Badly for Blake

Brandon Byers vs Blake Starr, Junkyard Dogs (Wrestler4Hire)

Sorry for the spoiler, but, geez, you can't really have thought Blake was going to beat Brandon. There's no way Blake, prettily muscled as he is, can escape Byers' clutches unscathed. That much is made clear by Brandon from the start, who strips Starr to his trunks the way woodsmen skin rabbits. What you have to love about Blake is he fights back - as best he can - ineffectually, as it turns out. (Of course, if you want to believe in miracles, don't let me piss on your hopes.)

Both these guys are great in their different ways. Brandon has exactly one facial expression throughout this match: I call it "the RoboCop." His handsome face is only slightly more variable than the ones on Mount Rushmore. And he appears to have no interest in Blake Starr beyond demolishing him. Blake is one deathlike grimace after another, that is, when it's not buried under Brandon's arm or boot. Like  a real junkyard dog, Byers shows no sympathy for the trespasser.

There's no ambiguity here. The line dividing carnivore from prey is clear. Blake steps into quicksand, and the more he struggles the deeper he sinks under Byers' muscles. The match is sexy as a red dick. There isn't an unenjoyable moment in it.

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