Little Giant

Joey McCoy vs Derek Bolt, Catalog 28: Heels vs Jobbers! (MuscleBoy Wrestling)

Rugged competition, punishment, and maximized body contact are what I consider the elements of a wrestling match. Derek versus Joey has all of the above, plus, beginning about midway through, an abundance of sweat - the morning dew of a hard-fought battle. The end is predictable, but then there are only a  few options - this guy wins, that guy wins, it's a draw, the ref ends the fight for whatever reason. There's no ref in this MBW match, so we have only three options. For me, the ending usually doesn't matter, and it definitely doesn't matter in this case. Bolt vs McCoy ends exactly as I expected, but the fun is watching lightweight Joey McCoy (135#) and heavyweight Derek Bolt (230#) rumble. The wrestlers play the beginning mostly for laughs, but the match gets darker as the minutes pass.

Joey does not just weigh in at seven-tenths the weight of an adult kangaroo, he also brings a buoyant boyishness to the wrestling mat. He is instantly likable, though apparently his charms are lost on Derek. His puppy-dog eyes would melt all but the hardest heart. Seeing him in his tiny swim trunks makes me want to protect him. A trained professional, McCoy is capable of feats fans might not have imagined. For instance, as the MBW catalog points out, "LITTLE Joey actually scoops up 230lbs Derek and bodyslams him!" This happens about halfway through the match. More than once, Joey tackles Derek around the ankles and topples him. Obviously, the wrestlers are evener than their weights would suggest.

Derek's barrel chest and herculean beard do make Joey look like a second-grader. Derek is fairly easygoing compared to other wrestling heels. He looks quietly amused by Joey on first sight, even more amused by the little fella's initial attempts at taking him off his feet. When eventually Joey succeeds, Derek is vexed but no more so than if Brendan Byers or Joey Nux were to oust him. To his credit, Bolt takes McCoy seriously enough to throw his full weight behind every bearhug, headscissors, and gut punch. He seems surprised that McCoy survives them, as am I. By the time we reach the match's halfway point - the miraculous scoop and bodyslam - it's easy to ignore how physically opposite the two wrestlers are.

Of course, I'm here for the sweat, the shining quivering muscles, the drenched trunks. Up to the midpoint, both bodies are talcum-powder dry. Then there's the first droplet of sweat on Bolt's shoulder. Then, both men are sopping wet for the last four minutes, and, oh my, it's sweltering in here! The match ends viciously, as I had hoped, with a merciless choke-out. 

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