Getting It Hard

Braxton vs Bam Bam Bossio, Wrestler4Hire

This match works for me. If I custom-ordered a match, it could not be any better than what these spanking new W4H wrestlers deliver. This is like the director's cut of every wrestling fantasy that worked me up since age 15. W4H aka Cameron must be a fuckin' mind reader! 

Bossio in the purple trunks is the shorter, muscly guy whose only goal in life is to mess with big burly Braxton's head, and possibly poke out his eyes, too. Both men zap my retinas once or twice for each of the video's 26 minutes. This is a whirly back-and-forth match, brimming with sweat, low blows, and unadulterated rage. 

First, we see Braxton and Bam Bam loosening up in their respective ring corners. They circle each other, Bam Bam mouthing off - then, Braxton lifts Bam by the knees and slams - like SLAMS - the bigmouth to the ring floor. This is Boner #1, and the start of an exciting cycle of slamming, punching, gouging, biting, slapping, kicking, slamming, smashing, scratching, yanking, perspiring, and stomping, All of it raw as sushi! By the way, all this is shot PERFECTLY in one long uninterrupted take!

Getting this excited about a match is bad for blogging. I can't maintain emotional distance or impartiality when my senses are bombarded by everything my senses ever wanted to bombard them. I lose all sense of perspective, all hint of objectivity. These two shiny, fleshy pit-dogs take my breath away. I'm demanding - no, cravenly begging for - a rematch, two rematches, infinite rematches. Just do not fuck up this wonderful thing you've created. Braxton and Bam Bam Bossio are officially gods on Skull Island.

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