One-Two

Derrick Cole vs Tyson the Hammer plus Zack Reno, Match 833 - 2 on 1 (UCW)

At UCW, a clean contest lasts no more than a minute. This one gets dirtier from one minute to the next. Eventually the gloves come off, and a free-for-all ensues, with three of UCW's finest battling it out and, of course, no rules apply - how often do you see a boxing match end with a three-count cross-body pinfall? And these days, Zack Reno, who used to be UCW's steady hand, is now the company's biggest troublemaker. He almost (ALMOST) makes Derrick Cole look clearheaded and urbane.

UCW shares my love of rowdy behavior and punishing body contact. Not every punch lands, but the jabs begin as soon as the camera switches on, with no intros or big talk preceding them. Within a minute, Tyson's gut punches back Derrick into a corner, and Derrick slugs his way out, nearly toppling the Hammer with a sharp blow to the ribs. Shortly after the one-minute mark, the two are clinging to each other, giving Tyson the vantage to sock Derrick in the groin. Nothing defines UCW more than a low blow, whatever the sport.

Zack shows up at ringside about five minutes into the fight, while Derrick is hammering Tyson's head almost THROUGH the ring floor. "Let him up, Derrick," Reno grumbles. "That's not how you box." (Technically true, but, hey, this is UCW.) Derrick mocks him, claiming that Tyson got what he deserved. Zack accuses both men of "goofing off," Obviously he doesn't approve of mixing wrestling ring with pugilism. Deliberately ignoring Zack's protestations, Derrick gets Tyson in a leglock on the mat and punches him some more.

Later, Derrick gets fed up with Zack's bossiness and pulls off his gloves, inviting Reno into the ring to wrestle him. By now, Tyson, too, is losing his patience with the bigmouth.  Reno climbs into the ring, and a three-way shouting match erupts. Gloves still on, Tyson launches himself into Zack and starts pummeling. Derek lends a hand, and Zack is writhing on the mat like a worm. Tyson takes off a glove, pulls Reno up by his curly locks, and pushes him into a corner to blast the man's torso with his still-gloved right hand.

At this point, we're not even halfway through the 28-minute fight. The double-teaming is nonstop. Zack manages to strike back, but with Derrick and Tyson united against him, his chances of turning all this around are slim. That doesn't slow Reno down, though. This is what happens when you get three pugnacious brutes in the same room.

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